Thursday, December 18, 2008

The Hidden Dangers of Karaoke Singing

I am quite comfortable with singing: Hardly the statement that a Middle Eastern man would concede to easily. But this is the truth. I have been playing the Piano for as long as I could remember. I do not have an incredible voice but I don't miss the tunes and I always used to sing.
Let me tell you a fool proof way to impress girls:
All throughout my university days, I used to take girls to the music room, play the piano and sing for them. The outcome of this feat, I would like to assure everyone is far more guaranteed than the most fancy romantic dinner.

The least I can say about Miriam is that she was incredible. Damn pretty -of course- with the unique talent of being angelic and naughty at the mean time. She was also a social animal and an amazing singer (of course!)
I spent most of adolescent life dreaming about just a conversation with her. But to my ultimate misfortune, for the known recorded history, Miriam only dated one guy. Yes, you guessed it right: I was not a close rival. Not even in the same league.
While Bassel was taking an active part in maintenance and medical assistance for the Pharaohs Rally. The closest I got to desert and off-roading was the Discovery Channel and Sport Auto magazine.
His dad owned half of Hurghada (including two yachts) while my friends and I took the bus and cramped ourselves in a 3 stars hotel at the utter most. To cut a long story short, it is the same old story. While they were the typical university star couple , I blended in oblivions in the background.

One day, it just happened. Miriam and Bassel broke up. To the present day -nearly 10 years later- the reason behind this break up eludes everyone.
What happened after that was like a dazed dream. An "unplanned" introduction by a mutual friend, casual talks while going back and forth on campus and finally, me gathering my wits to ask for a coffee together. Yes, just like that. One coffee, lead to the other and we were on the right track. Now, when I look back, I realize that these "coffees" were among the very few times in my life where I experienced pure -totally unstained- happiness.

We are all going to Johnny's this Wednesday for Karaoke Night, I told her. Interested?
Yes, sure. She replied.
So that was it, our first night out. It would be a smooth sail from this point onward I assured myself. I will talk to her, she will say yes… Bye bye Bassel… for good.
Got there, everybody was having a good time and she told me let us sing a duet together. The idea pleased me so much. Yeah let us do it.
The song started, she sang brilliantly and then I was up.
Over the following 6 years or so after that, I asked myself a zillion times: What the hell has gone into me that night? I missed the opening, got out of tune, sounded like a mule in labor and then got so nervous and missed the lyrics themselves. An absolute disaster.
Joining back the rest of our crowd, I saw it in her eyes right away: Hesitation.
No way, I kept assuring myself. No one in his right mind would decide the future of a relationship based on a Karaoke Song. She did.
Half an hour later, Miriam said it was getting late and that she had to go home. I never heard of her again, ever.

Ten years, A wife, Two kids and two Porsches later, I still do not sing Karaoke. The reason: No one knows.

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

The World Falls in Love With Older Women

It all started out more than a decade ago... Out of nowhere came the very successful series Sex and the City. The idea was really simple but highly appealing. Four single women, all above 30 (actually up to early 40s) living, loving and experimenting with everything in New York.
Telling their stories as well as hers was Sarah Jessica Parker or Carrie Bradshaw. The free spirited writer who tells her story, her friends stories and shares all of her thoughts on men, women and their intricate relationships in the Big Apple.
The series was based on the best selling book by the same name. The witty and sexy actresses and especially the vibrant Kim Cattrall secured the continuation of this series for Six consecutive seasons.
And a movie launched early in 2008.

This started out an entire wave in entertainment: Older Women Power.
All of a sudden, the world seemed to forget all about young talents. No more sloppy love adventures. The world fell unmercifully in the grip of experienced, powerful and capable-of-seducing -any feeble man Divas.
Women were obviously getting more like wine: They only got better with age.
Examples are many, for your viewing pleasure check out these ones:
- Desperate Housewives: Perhaps the most successful TV series in this category. It revolves around 4 middle aged women and their so called household adventures including everything from a quick sexual indiscretion with the young -just out of the gym- gardener to premeditated -cold blooded- murder.
Now 6 seasons down the line, cougars already increased to 6 instead of 4. We just can't get enough of them.
- Cashmere Mafia / Lipstick Jungle: Betting on these previous successes, TV producers got more and more greedy. They started pushing more series of older women on our screens. These are just two more examples for that.
However, it could not hold any longer. Lipstick jungle featuring Brook Shields, and the ultimately hot Lindsay Price season 2 will not be screened. Although some of season 2 episodes are ready. NBC officials first moved the show from prime time TV spot and then cancelled it altogether.
- The Women - the movie: A movie taking it even one step further. The movie starlets are -of course- way past their prime (Meg Ryan and Annette Baning) They occupy the screen for around two hours struggling against an unfair life. But no need to worry, at the end, they manage to pull it altogether. Everything falls in place as long you are sincere and you take matters into your own hands. An idea i as old as they are as matter of fact. The only young actress (Eva Mendez) is shown as a Bimbo who steals Meg Ryan husband and only appears in two scenes. Furthermore, the movie makes sure not to show any male figures all throughout. Come on!!! This is a BIT too much.

So, this is my humble cry to everyone concerned. Khalas, it is over please get back to young girls doing girly things with nice boys. We just had enough of Older Women Power.

Monday, December 1, 2008

Living in Cairo: A Little Tip

Today, I planned to take my wife to the movies. "We'll run just a quick errand on our way" she said. Being the good husband I am, I conceded. Leaving the building our Bawab approached me.

- Here is you laundry, he said
- Thanks Mohamed
- Aye Khedma ya Basha
I gave him a Pound

We drove to get a quick Birthday present for I don't know whom. Got in the shop, my wife was quick. Gift selected and wrapped. The lady packing the gift gave it to my wife and turned to me with a big smile.
- Koll sana wento taybeen..
I gave her a Pound

Getting out of the parking space, he appeared as usual out of no where.
- Ta3ala, ta3ala, ta3ala... Hop...
I gave him a Pound.

The roll of pounds in my pocket is getting thinner faster than anticipated, I thought.

We got in front of the cinema. Squeezed Calista between two humongous SUV's with customs plates.
We waited and they came. Two guys this time.
- Two pounds ya basha, one of them said
- Ok, when we re leaving, I replied.
- No.. Now, we are not going to wait till midnight, the other replied.
I gave them 2 Pounds

Get me some popcorn honey, I'll go quickly to the toilet.
While I was washing my hands, he appeared right over my shoulder with a small paper tissue in his hand.
- Koll sana wenta tayeb ya basha, he said in a husky voice.
I pushed the soap dispencer twice, rewashed my hands, hoping that he would go away. He didn't.
I gave him a Pound
And another Pound to the placeur (The guy who took you to your seats in the cinema, just in case you didn't know.)

Two hours and one dreadful movie later, getting out of the parking I spotted him running towards us from the very end of the road.
- Aywaaaa, Aywaaaa!!
The roll of Pounds in pocket finished. I just drove off.
I saw him in my rear view mirror curling his lips, weaving his hands in the air and heard him
- Bahwat Akher Zaman Sahih, Ekhss...!!!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

The Azazel Book Discussion: In The Beginning There Was Man

As I admitted previously, when I first read Azazel, I was not really sure how to feel. Growing up I was constantly injected with ideas totally the opposite of what Azael suggested.
- The Coptic population was under oppression all the time. Anything to the opposite was not even remotely discussed.
- Arius and Nestorius were two heretics that nearly destroyed the entire Christian faith if it wasn't for the bold resistance that the church made and so forth....

In our history school books, the period of Christian Coptic Egypt is totally ignored. Furthermore, the history told by the Church itself, under the best circumstances, is biased and ambiguous.

However, this is not what it is all about or what matters most.
Azael is not just about history and finding the truth.
The book (and then the discussion) is a rare invitation to think and question. Unfortunately a feat perceived by many as a heresy/crime in itself these days.

Three Major points really arose my interest during the discussion:
1) Everything Changes and Humanity Remains:
The same people who built the Pyramids are the same people who embraced Christianity are the same people who built El Azhar to enlighten the entire Moslem world. Civilization, religions, perceptions of religions and world orders. Everything changes but humanity remained.
2) We are still dwelling in past and ancient ideas when the future is ahead of us: We as Middle Easterns have the rare gift of dwelling ruthlessly over the past. We are very good in remembering selectively and fighting futile battles over issues that perhaps mattered 1400 to 2000 years ago. The world has moved on. It is really simple: No one should kill in the name of religion, no one should judge and condemn in the name of religion and No one should rule and own in the name of religion. All throughout history this model failed. Today is no different.
3) Discussions, Ideas and Taboos is our country: Why are we (Egyptians) always so on the edge? We cannot, in the most part, stand discussion and debate? Especially when it comes to religion. Actually, as Youssef Zeidan said during the discussion. We cannot tolerate anything even ourselves!!!
As said in the old play Bel 3araby El Faseeh: We cannot discuss politics, religion, race, sex or football. What has happened to us?

Anyway, the discussion was fabulous in every respect. IT IS the time for change. This could be very well the start...

The Road, The Machine and Literature (2): The Great Gatsby

"No one really knew who Gatsby was"

F. Scott Fitzgerald can hardly be identified as a "Road" writer. Almost all of his works were dedicated to account for the Post World War I America. The period identified by Fitzgerald himself as the "Jazz Age." After the Great War, the States experienced an unprecedented era of economic prosperity and growth. An entire social class of newly rich families appeared and indulgence in luxury became a trend. This was further accompanied by the total dominance of material pleasures as well as disregard of morals and values. This is precisely what The Great Gatsby is all about.

In 1922, Long Island (NY) was divided into two distinct parts: West Egg where all the New Rich lived and East Egg where the Old Aristocracy resided. A young man, graduate of Yale, called Nick comes to live in West Egg. His next door neighbour is an incredible mansion belonging to a mysterious millionaire called Jay Gatsby. The other side of the bay, in East Egg, is the house of his second cousin Daisy Buchanan. Daisy is married to Tom but their marriage is in trouble. Tom is short tempered and a brut. Anyway, Nick knows that Tom has an affair with Myrtle Wilson the wife of a mechanic whose home and workshop are on the road from East Egg to New York City. In his vast Gothic house, Gatsby throws lavish parties each weekend. One day, Nick gets invited to one of those parties and he ends up meeting Gatsby himself who turns out to be quite young, charming but mysterious at the same time. As time goes by, Nick and J. Gatsby become friends and Jay confides into Nick that he used to love his second cousin Daisy. Also, he asks him to arrange a meeting between them. Nick agrees. The reunion starts awkward but ends up in reviving the relationship between Daisy and Gatsby. The story goes on till Tom realises the affair and a tragic end is then inevitable of course.

The story, as mentioned earlier, is not a road story. However, all throughout, the characters are driving from their Long Island homes to New York City (and back certainly.) A lot of the key events happen during these short trips. Tom introduces his mistress to Nick in a drive to the city. Gatsby starts approaching Nick regarding Daisy in also a similar trip. A major sign of Gatsby's wealth is a Yellow "Beautiful" Roadster. Ultimately, the key event of the novel is a car accident that occurs to the Yellow Roadster while Daisy is driving it.

It was just 1922 and cars were relatively new to the society. Fitzgerald meant for this new sign of modern life to play an integral part of his chronicles for this age.

For more about the Novel: http://www.sparknotes.com/lit/gatsby

For the full Novel: http://etext.library.adelaide.edu.au/f/fitzgerald/f_scott/gatsby/

Sunday, October 5, 2008

The Road, the Machine and Literature (1)

Keeping my promise to the CBC Core Team (and being a fanatic cars enthusiast), I started to research the role that automobiles played in literature. Inevitably, my search took me into a broader spectrum: The literature, of all sorts, written linking together road, man and machine.

Whether or not we are actually on a road, life remains a fascinating journey. However, in an actual car or motorcycle this journey becomes much more exciting.
Literature related to journeys and travels has been there since ever .
The first examples that could come into ones mind are Homers Iliad and Odyssey. Although it does not qualify as a "normal" road trip however the Odyssey might be the first solid example of Journey Literature. The epic poem mainly describes the 10 years trip that Odysseus embarks on to reach his hometown Ithaca after the Trojan Wars. At the mean time his wife Penelope and his son Telemachus have to fight all the suitors that attempt to approach the beautiful queen. Everybody believes that Odysseus is dead except for Penelope. To escape his suitors without much confrontation she promises them she will choose among them upon finishing sewing a pullover. All through the day she worked on it and all through the night she undone her daily work. The ten years just passed like that!
For the full text of the Odyssey: http://www.mythweb.com/odyssey/

Very informally and without any organization or methodology, I decided to discover more authors and novels all related to Journeys, Roads and Cars/other means of transport. Some will readily come to mind like "On the Road" by Jack Kerouac and for others the connection will be more obscure like the Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald.

I will leave the pavement and embark on my own journey and I hope you guys enjoy..

Saturday, September 13, 2008

The Latest Sports Scoop: The Mubaraks' Falcons are Ready

Well, I'm not a big fan of Egyptian Papers. However, for some ambiguous reason, I bought Akhbar El Youm today. Scheming between the old, silly and plain lies articles I reached the Sports Section in the enormous 4 parts paper. The Head Title in the Sports section read as "THE FALCONS ARE READY FOR THE CONFRONTATION"
The first thing that came into my mind is that Hassan Shehata, also for some ambiguous reason, decided to change the name of the National Egyptian Football Team from the Pharaohs to the Falcons. I turned in the pages to find the article and confronted the ultimate shock.
In an article spanning a Full Half Page was an in depth analysis and latest news of the Ramadan Football Tournament in which Alaa and Gamal Mubarak are playing. The Falcons turned out to be nothing but the name of the Mubaraks Team. This "International" tournament is taking place in the prestigious Stadium of Palm Hills. Also, this event is obviously arousing the interest of approximately 5 people (the entire line-up of the Falcons), the editor as well as mom and dad Mubarak of course. Hence was the extensive coverage in the so-called "National" Paper.
Seeing this, I decided to take part in this unprecedented interest in popular sports and Ramadan Tournaments. My son Ferry (4 years old) is taking part in the Bowling tournament of his school. Also, I am playing Tennis in the prestigious El Shams Club Open Ramadan T. Accordingly, I will send our photos to Akhbar El Youm accompanied with some "Kofta" comments and see what happen. Our photos, I assure everybody, will be a lot nicer than the huge published photos of the two Mubarak brothers pursuing their Football endeavours.
In a country devastated by Inflation (25%), Illiteracy (50%+) and hundreds still buried in Dweika, The Mubaraks took a stand: They played football in Palm Hills.
Thank you,
Over and Out
From the Pavement - Mafroos
Samih

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

In Hiding

Inside me are so many things. Feelings, ideas and desires are constantly brewing. Under the stern surface of my being, destructive currents are raging. How can I want so many things I do not have the right to? How do I crave to enjoy so many guilty pleasures? I do not know. One thing I know however, I do not want to fight it. Without remorse I just bury deep deep inside any sign of guilt; a smile on my face.

We go on about our lives pretending. Nothing is really the way it seems. We hide the monster with a sheepish look and fake virtue with cheap courtesy.
Lust is killing me but I don't have the right to even blink.
Crave but do not look, look but do not touch, touch but do not taste,... I curse civilization, morals and society common ways.

I hope no one blames me for this. But from time to time, I will release the wolf to get out for a big feast .

Monday, August 25, 2008

Today Veena Died

More than 7,500 people die on Egyptian Roads Every day. We are all used to read such figures and news in the papers.

Today my friend Veena became a number in this dark and cold statistic.

At 34 years old, on Ein Sokhna Road, on a normal Friday Veena died when her car crashed and burned.

We all have so many circles of Friends: Close friends, distant friends, business colleagues and all sorts of acquaintances/relatives. I knew Veena for around 15 years. She was my sister's best friend, at one point, and has been always in my "Gray" friendship area. Up to her marriage, 5 years ago, Veena used to through a Pre-Christmas party. So, for 10 years I got invited to this event. Her close friends helped in preparing the food. Her "gray" friends were supposed to bring small gifts and everyone was supposed to exchange gifts with everyone else in the spirit of the Christmas season. In all due honesty, I never helped with food and never got gifts. However, there was no need to worry. Every year for careless outcasts like me, there was a bag of gifts that Veena prepared. Where we got our small presents and took also some to give to others.

My grandmother used to say that is one of God's blessings that we forget our departed beloved ones. Farid, Veena's son, is only 4. He does not know his loss. He will not just grow-up without the only person who will love him unconditionally; he will grow-up without the memory. How could this be a blessing?

By pure coincidence, I have met Veena less than 24 hours before she passes away. She was leaving a restaurant at the same moment I was getting in. We just bumped into each other. In a very short, common conversation, she told me that she was going through a rough patch with no further details. I told her to hang on without providing any real support. I do not feel bad about it. We shall meet again eventually. This is the only solid fact in our life.

From the pavement – Very Sad

Samih

Saturday, July 12, 2008

More Hassan and Morcos

Yes the movie is not that good. Yet the subjects it deals with are becoming further and further an interest to everyone.
I ate my pop corn, watched the simple minded script and listened to the direct conversations of Adel Imam and Nour El Sherif. This doesn't really matter. What matters is that I remembered. I remembered how throughout my childhood and university days the issue of religion was handled so simply with no sensitivities, clinched fists and huge anger (from both sides...)
I remember that our neighbor had 2. Then she got pregnant. Although a devote Muslim she took upon herself to fast 3 days every year for Virgin Mary if she gets a girl. Now Riham is a Physician, married with 2 children and her mom is still fasting.
The first day of every Ramadan, I used to pass by my Grand Parents neighbor. Guedo Ismail used to give money to all the kids in the building on the first day of Ramadan every year (the reason he gave us the money of the first day of Ramadan and not during the Feast still is unknown till this day.) I did not live in the building. I got the money nonetheless.
And a million more example, I can remember; as I m certain that most of us do.
I always believed that we Egyptians were the happiest people on earth. While everyone else was only celebrating a certain set of holidays and vacations, we had double of everything. Egypt is the only country on this planet that celebrates two new years eves, 4 big holidays (Iftar Feast, Christmas, El Adha Feast and Easter) and Sham El Nesim that is a purely Egyptian invention.
I am Egyptian living in Cairo. I've been raised in Heliopolis and happen to be Christian.
This is what the movie is all about...

Thursday, June 26, 2008

A Little Tale of Non-Fiction (1)

Are you bored of Love Stories and Thrillers?
After a long day's work, you find it very hard to grasp a piece of "Heavy" Literature yet you believe you deserve more than Harry Potter?

May be you should try to give it a go with a non-fiction book.

There are a lot of advantages to non-fiction over fiction books; especially, in our contemporary life style. A non-fiction does not require commitment as a novel for example. It is normally divided into more or less individual chapters or at least subject matter. So the reader might read till a certain section then stops till he feels like resuming. (I tried this once while reading Lord of the Rings. Then when I tried to get back to reading a month later it was an absolute nightmare. I did not know who's who, lost the story line and had to retract a 100 pages or so just to get back on line again...)

Furthermore, a good non-fiction will probably, actually, add concrete pieces of knowledge to its reader.

Anyway, this mini-series is really based on nothing except some very limited readings I had over the last couple of years of a few of those authors and books. Here we go...

Bill Bryson:

One of the most loved writers for in the last part of the 20th Century. He was born in the States in 1951, in a little city in the state of Iowa.
His first travel book starts with just that "I come from Des Moines. Somebody had to."

Bryson dropped out of University to Backpack travel in Europe. These travels later on became the source of his first travel book "Neither Here Nor There"
In 1973, he got a job in England and met his wife. They got married and lived in the UK till 1995.
Up till 1987, Bryson was working mainly as a journalist (The Times and The Independent) and then started writing independently. He moved back and forth from The States to The UK and is now living in Norfolk, UK.

Perhaps the Most known work of Bryson is a "Short History of Nearly Everything." This Rough guide to Science is full of Humor in addition to some very important scientific facts. It is not just about science and scientific status. It also contains a whole lot of exciting information about the lives of many scientists, their backgrounds and often funny beginnings (or endings.) For example, we learn that Hubble (Famous Astronomer who gave his name to the Hubble Telescope) was not on very good terms with his wife. After his death, she took his body and buried it in an unknown place. No one knows where Hubble is buried till today. Or, something like: On the average everyday an American ends up dead by drowning in his own bathtub. The book goes on and on. It is one of the few books that I read may be for three times.
The book won the prestigious Aventis Award in 2004.

Bryson wrote 3 books on the English Language "Mother Tongue", "Made in America" and "Bryson's Dictionary of Troublesome Words." These works were also greatly popular though criticized by academic critics for some of their mythical/misguided facts.

Currently, I'm reading two of his works. "Shakespeare: The World is a Stage."
In this small book, an attempt is made to shed some light on the very mysterious personal life of perhaps the greatest author in the English Language; although some very little facts are known about his life. "We do not know if he ever left England. We do not know who were his principal companions were or how he amused himself... On only a handful of days in his life can we say with absolute certainty where he was... For the rest, he is a kind of literary equivalent of an electron - forever there and not there."

The other book is "The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid."
In this book, Bryson is making a very witty account of his years as a child growing up in the America in the 1950's.
"By 1951, when I came sliding down the chute, almost 90 per cent of the American families had refrigerators, and nearly three quarters had washing machines, telephones, vacuum cleaners and gas or electric stoves - things that most of the world could still only fantasize about... In early December, his wife (referring to Bryson's mom) went into Mercy hospital and with very little fuss gave birth to a baby boy: their third child, second son, first superhero."

In short, it is all in the way it is told. Any subject tackled by Bill Bryson becomes humorous, witty and exciting. He is the kind of writer, I would have dreamed of becoming. I became a construction engineer instead. Well, no one said that this world is fair after all...

Saturday, June 14, 2008

On The Second Time (Part 1)

(1)

Even Police Stations look different in Heliopolis; so clean and so much light. I tried to remember what time it was. I could not tell for sure. The last time I looked, it was 8:30 pm. But it seemd like it has been such a long time since then. I just got through the station front door and was practically dragged by anonymous strong arms. To where? I could not tell. We were moving quickly and a lot of people surrounded me, all talking at the same time. I understood every word they said but did not make anything out of it. My mouth kept on a monotonous murmur: It was not my fault; it was not my fault…


Finishing school was never really a viable option for me. Just passing my third preparatory year (at 17), my father sent me to take care of the Family Kiosk in Heliopolis. A prestigious, well paid job that made me the envy of almost every guy my age, and the desire of a lot of girls, in our desolate alley situated deep inside Imbaba. My day was fairly simple, I would take a Microbus everyday from Courniche to Heliopolis, open up to customers at around 9:30am and close at 9:30pm. Almost all my clients were regulars. The school kids from the private primary near by, people from the neighberhood and regular pass buyers consituted my day for almost two years. "You should start looking for a wife." El Hagga said. "It is still to early" I replied and thought to myself "Why stick to one when you can have a lot." I smiled sheepishely.




- I have never seen a similar car, wow... My friend Ahmed said. I tilted my head a little bit and he was right. An amazing big black 4x4 just pulled in font of us.


The electric window opened up and the man inside asked for a pack of cigarettes. I got what he wanted and put it on the selling board in front of me. Without even looking at me, and without getting out of his shining car, I saw him getting out the money of his pocket, stretching his hand to me.

Some people think they own this world. Even more, they think they own us with it; as an irrelevant bonus. I make less than 50 piasters profit per pack of cigarettes. If this moron thinks I'll leave my chair to serve him he is gravely mistaken. I continued my imaginary phone converstation.

- A pack of Lights please. I heard him say.

- .... So, Ahmed you said that the goods will be a little late. I went on my fake phone converstaion.

Incrudelously, he got out of his 4x4. He slammed the door, went all around the huge vehicle and gave me a 10 pounds note.

- We don't have change. I said. Do you have 50 P.

He gave me 50P. Grabbed the pack and was gone in less than a second. I despised him so much. I hated him, his smell and his car. No one owns me.


(2)

There is a king in everyone of us. I smiled to myself. Even this little bugger in this wretched Kiosk thinks that he is better than to pass me a pack of cigarette.

He does not look at me and even fakes a phone conversation just to avoid moving his.... and does his job. Egypt will never be a respectable country as long as these lazy worms live in it.

Everyone sees the new Chevrolet Blazer, dad got from Saudi when he came back, thinks that we got in bed with a Saudi Prince or something.

Twenty seven years of hard labor, twenty seven years away from his family and for what?? A small appartment in Helipolis, the big 4x4 and a small sum at the bank. Small business men in Egypt make more in a year then what he wasted his life upon. I puffed loudly the smoke of my cigarette.


Friday, April 4, 2008

At the Movies: More NOT to See Movies

It took me some time to get out this second part of the NOT to See Movies, however, beware the following comments may contain spoilers. So if you are willing to take the risk and watch these movies do not read any further.

Vantage Point:
8 People and 8 point of views. This is what the trailer sais and man isn't it true!! The movie revolves around a main incident that takes only around 20 minutes. Then the movie repeats it for 8 times!!! It is true that the incident involves the assassination of the US president but come on how much Drama can one put in a 20 minute story?? No matter how you look at it...The movie is action packed but again with some serious flaws in the story line. Till the end a lot of the "twists" do not make any sense. The movie then ends with a pure coincidence that saves the US president. So, the civilized world can sleep in peace... The day is saved.

PS I love you:
She has played the role of a Lesbian and a Boxer very successfully. Then to everyone's amazement Hilary Swank takes a U Turn and decides to take on a romantic comedy. I am not convinced. The movie is essentially barely OK. Hilary's young husband dies after a short struggle with illness. Nonetheless, he leaves to his devastated wife a series of letters to help through the first year of grief. To some this might sound very romantic. To me the movie was a little too cheesy. All throughout the movie, one thought keeps going back and forth in my mind. Was it better to leave the widowed wife to face her grief and moves on?? Or leaving her a series of letters that served mainly to remind her of her loss??

Rendition:
Everyone seems to be making movies discussing Terrorism and the Middle East these days. Well, this is one of these movies. Reese Witherspoon is an American Pregnant wife. For no good reason her husband is kidnapped by the CIA during the course of a bomb explosion investigation. The explosion took place in a North African Country and kills many including an American officer. It is illegal to keep an American (even from Egyptian origins) for no good cause. To avoid this, the CIA transport the accused to the North African country (where there is presumably no law) to keep, question and torture the poor innocent guy. The movie runs two parallel stories in different times. This is a bit confusing but OK (even if I missed the point of the second story.) The second story is about the daughter of the Arab Chief of Police whom his daughter loves the terrorist who plants the bomb to kill her father!!! A typical Middle Eastern Melodrama!!!

These are the movies and this is my opinion and as I said in the beginning. You can watch whatever you like at your own risk.

From The Pavement
Samih

Sunday, March 23, 2008

At the Movies: The Must NOT See List

For the last couple of months, I decided to waste my spare time. Instead of doing anything useful like reading , writing, doing any activities or sports I went to the movies instead. Admittedly, it was a colossal waste …
Anyway, here is a list of the movies I saw and that I WOULD NOT ADVICE anyone to see ever, not in Cinemas, DVD's (even if you decide to buy the cheap 10 LE ones) or Showtime (even if you have the stolen decoded card)

One Missed Call:
This is the only movie that I know of recently that scored Zero in all reviews. It is perhaps one of the worst movies that I got to watch. The plot is very simple: A girl dies. After her death, her friend receives a Multimedia message. On this message, it is recorded the sound of this friend dying. The time of this message will be the time when this friend dies. When the moment comes, she dies. Another friend receives a similar message and the whole thing is repeated again. A handsome investigator gets of course involved with the girl who finally escapes it all. There is a simple twist and a reason written by a 10 year old behind the 5 or 6 deaths of course. The only good thing about this movie that it is very short, less than 1.5 hrs.

Jumper:
Another Super Hero movie, but this time without a super hero. The leading character of this movie has the unique ability to JUMP from one place to other. However, he does not use his POWERS for any common good. He just Jumps around, steals money and travels to different exotic destinations for the fun of it. Things cannot be left at that certainly. There is another group, that for religious reasons, hunts downs all Jumpers and kills them, our guy included of course. One thing leads to the other and the movie ends with a huge twist: The leader of the hunters is the Jumper Mom. The movie then terminates abruptly leaving you waiting for Part II. Not Me certainly…

Golden Compass:
If you are craving for a cheap copy of the Chronicles of Narnia this might be the one for you. Nicole Kidman plays the villain. But obviously she had some stomach problems and constipation during shooting. A lot of things from the original book are missing leaving the storyline with a lot of holes. After 2 hours, nothing much happens and the whole things terminates with a dialogue preparing you again for Part II. The one part movies are getting out of Fashion for the Major Studios that's for sure.
One good idea in the movies though is that every character is accompanied by an animal. This animal reflects this character's personality.
Then I imagined Egypt, 80 million people and 80 million accompanying animals. That would be a sight… and what would be these animals?? That another story.

Wait for us in Part II and more Not to See movies. In our next episode: Rendition, Vantage Point and more…