I do not normally get into affairs of the heart :)
But I got this letter from a friend and thought I would share it.
Dear S,
A wise man once said: "women's emotions make them stupid while men's desires is what shuts their brain off."
My problem is exactly that. I am desperately, uncontrollably attracted to the absolutely wrong woman. When I see her my throat gets dry, my mind gets clouded and my nerves tingle. unwillingly, I take an entire imaginary trip to our shared Nirvana.
Then I go back home and my mind gets back into operation.
The subject of my affection is the text book case of an Anti-Seducer. She is the most insecure, self-centred person I have ever met.
Sometimes, I get a chance to catch her eye while I am talking to her. Her blank, oblivious, look is obvious: She is not listening and doesn't have the faintest interest in what I am saying. She is taking the time while I finish my meaningless humming to sort out what she wants to say (whether to me or to someone else for that matter...)
Furthermore, her insecurity leads her into a perpetual journey of deceit and aggression. The only truth that might approach her lips is the truth that serves her purpose.
"Don't tell me that you guys are going to This Place!!! Rania my friend had food poisoning and she stayed for a week in bed after eating there." The reason for this statement as it turns out is that she has other plans for this day. Rania never went to This Place and the last time she had food poisoning was during her last year in School (1998!)
In any setting whomever is not present becomes the target to her sour sarcasm and under-the-belt comments: "Mazen was giving the eye to Hanaa without his wife noticing it. Christine always leaves less money than what she ordered And Heba will not go out with us because her mentor/protege Soha instructing her not to do so..."
Nonetheless, I just sit there gazing at her, mesmerised. To all of her intelligent-lacking comments and her cheap moves, I nod my head like a zombie. Infatuation is such a cruel emotion.
What hurts me the most is that Karen (let us just call her that for the sake of this letter) is so into herself to the extent that she doesn't even notice my manoeuvres to get closer to her. In the midst of taking the utter care of herself and focusing in her trivial pursuits. How can she notice anyone else? How can the subtle ways of romance even approach her full of herself heart?
She is single and will be for a long time, I hope..
Dear S, I do not want you to comment and/or reply. Just writing this letter to you is both my relief and my salvation.
A man in control of himself is better than a man in control of a city, they say.
Good bye Karen. You will never know how unpleasant this was while it lasted...
