Hi,
My name is Mohamed, my friends in Europe call me John but you can call me Chang. Don't raise your eye brows! You don't know me? I am you neighbour living just around the corner, 3000 Km away.
Not yet? Let me try to describe myself a little then. I am average height and weight with no peculiar facial or ethnic traits. This doesn't really help, I see. Well ok, I am a member of the biggest group in the world. Governments call us the Public (hence public transport, public toilets, public beaches and so on..), politicians call us the Silent Majority while movie stars and sports celebrities call us the Fans.
It is true that I am not famous or anything. However, I get me share of the news . The only difference between our group and the captains of business and politics is that while they are referred to by name, we are referred to by numbers or statistics:
- An estimated number of 2000 people died in the El Salam Ferry sinking.
- The rate of unemployment has risen by 2% during the second quarter of 2009.
- 34 killed and 106 injured in 3 bombings in Iraq
- 70% of the married male population in Europe cheated on their wives at one point, at least, during their marriage.
We don't design bridges. We build them. We do not plan wars or revolutions. We just fight them. We don't play sports. We just fill the stadiums and watch the live broadcast burdened with silly advertisement.
The consumers, the customers, the masses and the corner stone of modern civilisation. Actually, during the last economic crisis they also gave us credit. All of our financial, problems and worries; all of the measures we took to go on living through the turbulence were deduced to: The Consumers' Confidence Index.
I never complain and I never tire. I just go through life one day at a time. Whether it is in the hunger-stricken plains of Ethiopia or the warm wooden houses in Sweden, it is still me. One conviction, I always have: "God loves normal people. That is why he created so many of them."
Monday, October 19, 2009
Picture Frame..
I was never really a fan of Birthdays. Not trying to be cynical or anything. It is just not my thing. In my opinion, it is just a cheesy way to gather people somewhere (in the good old days birthdays were normally held in homes, but not anymore) and embarrass them to get you gifts.
Even more, one gets invited to too many birthdays. This leaves you in perpetual confusion.
"So, who's birthday is it exactly on Friday?"
"Omar?? Omar who? Oh Rania's Fiancée..!!"
"Remind me again... Who's Rania exactly??"
And it just goes on and on.. and on.
For the sake of argument let us do the math. You have 15 family member (including kids) and 15 friends. Each of your friend on the average have a wife and a kid. By simple math this adds up to a minimum of 60 people. If only two thirds of them decide to celebrate their Birthdays you will end up with 40 Birthdays. That is more than 1 birthday every 10 days (and I am being very conservative with numbers.)
Then comes the issue of the birthday present. Get an expensive present then you are trying to show off. Get a simple present and you are cheap. Or get a gift voucher and then you are plainly lame.
Some people obviously found the ideal solution for this dilemma during my last birthday (for the record: I did not have a birthday party) However, these certain individuals decided to be nice to me anyway. So, I ended up getting 10 very similar gifts. I think by now you all have guessed it.... Right, Picture Frames.
This made me think a little. When someone gets you a picture frame, what is the message this conveys?
We do not know you that well
We had to get you a gift (God knows why..)
We do not really care whether or not you will actually use this present (a remote possibility in the age of digital photography)
However, after my initial mild frustration from getting 10 picture frames for my "special" day. It suddenly hit me. This is the perfect and most brilliant present anyone could get.
For the coming 10 birthdays, I will absolutely need not worry about what to buy as a present. Just give one of the frames. It does not matter if it's a boy or a girl, young or old. A frame would just do it. Especially, if you sneak in and just throw it in the middle of the other gifts without a card or anything that reveals your identity.
Then you'll go home and just imagine the Birthday boy/girl
"Who the hell brought me this Picture Frame??"
We koll sana wento taybeen...
Even more, one gets invited to too many birthdays. This leaves you in perpetual confusion.
"So, who's birthday is it exactly on Friday?"
"Omar?? Omar who? Oh Rania's Fiancée..!!"
"Remind me again... Who's Rania exactly??"
And it just goes on and on.. and on.
For the sake of argument let us do the math. You have 15 family member (including kids) and 15 friends. Each of your friend on the average have a wife and a kid. By simple math this adds up to a minimum of 60 people. If only two thirds of them decide to celebrate their Birthdays you will end up with 40 Birthdays. That is more than 1 birthday every 10 days (and I am being very conservative with numbers.)
Then comes the issue of the birthday present. Get an expensive present then you are trying to show off. Get a simple present and you are cheap. Or get a gift voucher and then you are plainly lame.
Some people obviously found the ideal solution for this dilemma during my last birthday (for the record: I did not have a birthday party) However, these certain individuals decided to be nice to me anyway. So, I ended up getting 10 very similar gifts. I think by now you all have guessed it.... Right, Picture Frames.
This made me think a little. When someone gets you a picture frame, what is the message this conveys?
We do not know you that well
We had to get you a gift (God knows why..)
We do not really care whether or not you will actually use this present (a remote possibility in the age of digital photography)
However, after my initial mild frustration from getting 10 picture frames for my "special" day. It suddenly hit me. This is the perfect and most brilliant present anyone could get.
For the coming 10 birthdays, I will absolutely need not worry about what to buy as a present. Just give one of the frames. It does not matter if it's a boy or a girl, young or old. A frame would just do it. Especially, if you sneak in and just throw it in the middle of the other gifts without a card or anything that reveals your identity.
Then you'll go home and just imagine the Birthday boy/girl
"Who the hell brought me this Picture Frame??"
We koll sana wento taybeen...
Monday, August 24, 2009
The Kings's Illness
Another interesting mail that I got from a distant acquaintance:
During the time of the Pharaohs Old Kingdom, it is said that King Khufu fell the victim of a grave illness.
His condition prevented him from eating, sleeping or entertaining his endless reserve of Harem. After lengthy consultations, the wise men of the Kingdom finally figured it out. The king had a disease exclusive to majesties. He was simply, but drastically, bored.
Hard working, low earning people do not have the luxury of getting bored.
Anyway, this is not what my letter is about. My family is facing a very strange and peculiar problem: My wife is the most impatient and easy-to-get-bored person on earth. This is not an exaggeration, she is.
We always eat our meals in room temperature as she cannot wait till late noon to cook. Also, she cannot wait the 2 minutes the microwave needs to heat. My white shirts gained a more or less yellowish colors. "It is such a waste of time to wait for the entire very long cycle to wash the Whites.." She sais.
Our vacations cannot be longer than 3 to 4 days and we go out of any movie after one and half hours whether it is finished or not.
We (more or less), as a family, adapted to this relentless half-cooked lifestyle. However, as a famous philosopher once noted: Since patience, in any case, cannot be depicted every moment in life can then become heavy and tedious. Six or seven months ago, my wife exhausted the last remaining tiny bits of her patience.
So this is what we are left with: Boredom... and a great deal of it too.
My wife is bored. She is bored from me, our kids, our home and the whole damn lot.
We go on a vacation, she cries on the airplane that she wants to get back. We go to a restaurant, the food is 10 minutes late and she insists to leave. Our home is permanent State of Emergency . Kids are severely punished for almost nothing and the squabbles with the cook, the cleaner and the doorman do not seem to end.
To make things worse, her mechanism to fight it all is to sleep. First it was an innocent kind of cuddly doze. Then it ended up by profound and sound sleep through family functions, pool parties, cinemas and clubs.
What started out as a small hole of impatience has turned out into a deep dark well of apathy and boredom. And unfortunately, it is very hard to build a pyramid these days...
During the time of the Pharaohs Old Kingdom, it is said that King Khufu fell the victim of a grave illness.
His condition prevented him from eating, sleeping or entertaining his endless reserve of Harem. After lengthy consultations, the wise men of the Kingdom finally figured it out. The king had a disease exclusive to majesties. He was simply, but drastically, bored.
Hard working, low earning people do not have the luxury of getting bored.
Anyway, this is not what my letter is about. My family is facing a very strange and peculiar problem: My wife is the most impatient and easy-to-get-bored person on earth. This is not an exaggeration, she is.
We always eat our meals in room temperature as she cannot wait till late noon to cook. Also, she cannot wait the 2 minutes the microwave needs to heat. My white shirts gained a more or less yellowish colors. "It is such a waste of time to wait for the entire very long cycle to wash the Whites.." She sais.
Our vacations cannot be longer than 3 to 4 days and we go out of any movie after one and half hours whether it is finished or not.
We (more or less), as a family, adapted to this relentless half-cooked lifestyle. However, as a famous philosopher once noted: Since patience, in any case, cannot be depicted every moment in life can then become heavy and tedious. Six or seven months ago, my wife exhausted the last remaining tiny bits of her patience.
So this is what we are left with: Boredom... and a great deal of it too.
My wife is bored. She is bored from me, our kids, our home and the whole damn lot.
We go on a vacation, she cries on the airplane that she wants to get back. We go to a restaurant, the food is 10 minutes late and she insists to leave. Our home is permanent State of Emergency . Kids are severely punished for almost nothing and the squabbles with the cook, the cleaner and the doorman do not seem to end.
To make things worse, her mechanism to fight it all is to sleep. First it was an innocent kind of cuddly doze. Then it ended up by profound and sound sleep through family functions, pool parties, cinemas and clubs.
What started out as a small hole of impatience has turned out into a deep dark well of apathy and boredom. And unfortunately, it is very hard to build a pyramid these days...
Sunday, May 10, 2009
On the Wrong Side of Love
I do not normally get into affairs of the heart :)
But I got this letter from a friend and thought I would share it.
Dear S,
A wise man once said: "women's emotions make them stupid while men's desires is what shuts their brain off."
My problem is exactly that. I am desperately, uncontrollably attracted to the absolutely wrong woman. When I see her my throat gets dry, my mind gets clouded and my nerves tingle. unwillingly, I take an entire imaginary trip to our shared Nirvana.
Then I go back home and my mind gets back into operation.
The subject of my affection is the text book case of an Anti-Seducer. She is the most insecure, self-centred person I have ever met.
Sometimes, I get a chance to catch her eye while I am talking to her. Her blank, oblivious, look is obvious: She is not listening and doesn't have the faintest interest in what I am saying. She is taking the time while I finish my meaningless humming to sort out what she wants to say (whether to me or to someone else for that matter...)
Furthermore, her insecurity leads her into a perpetual journey of deceit and aggression. The only truth that might approach her lips is the truth that serves her purpose.
"Don't tell me that you guys are going to This Place!!! Rania my friend had food poisoning and she stayed for a week in bed after eating there." The reason for this statement as it turns out is that she has other plans for this day. Rania never went to This Place and the last time she had food poisoning was during her last year in School (1998!)
In any setting whomever is not present becomes the target to her sour sarcasm and under-the-belt comments: "Mazen was giving the eye to Hanaa without his wife noticing it. Christine always leaves less money than what she ordered And Heba will not go out with us because her mentor/protege Soha instructing her not to do so..."
Nonetheless, I just sit there gazing at her, mesmerised. To all of her intelligent-lacking comments and her cheap moves, I nod my head like a zombie. Infatuation is such a cruel emotion.
What hurts me the most is that Karen (let us just call her that for the sake of this letter) is so into herself to the extent that she doesn't even notice my manoeuvres to get closer to her. In the midst of taking the utter care of herself and focusing in her trivial pursuits. How can she notice anyone else? How can the subtle ways of romance even approach her full of herself heart?
She is single and will be for a long time, I hope..
Dear S, I do not want you to comment and/or reply. Just writing this letter to you is both my relief and my salvation.
A man in control of himself is better than a man in control of a city, they say.
Good bye Karen. You will never know how unpleasant this was while it lasted...
But I got this letter from a friend and thought I would share it.
Dear S,
A wise man once said: "women's emotions make them stupid while men's desires is what shuts their brain off."
My problem is exactly that. I am desperately, uncontrollably attracted to the absolutely wrong woman. When I see her my throat gets dry, my mind gets clouded and my nerves tingle. unwillingly, I take an entire imaginary trip to our shared Nirvana.
Then I go back home and my mind gets back into operation.
The subject of my affection is the text book case of an Anti-Seducer. She is the most insecure, self-centred person I have ever met.
Sometimes, I get a chance to catch her eye while I am talking to her. Her blank, oblivious, look is obvious: She is not listening and doesn't have the faintest interest in what I am saying. She is taking the time while I finish my meaningless humming to sort out what she wants to say (whether to me or to someone else for that matter...)
Furthermore, her insecurity leads her into a perpetual journey of deceit and aggression. The only truth that might approach her lips is the truth that serves her purpose.
"Don't tell me that you guys are going to This Place!!! Rania my friend had food poisoning and she stayed for a week in bed after eating there." The reason for this statement as it turns out is that she has other plans for this day. Rania never went to This Place and the last time she had food poisoning was during her last year in School (1998!)
In any setting whomever is not present becomes the target to her sour sarcasm and under-the-belt comments: "Mazen was giving the eye to Hanaa without his wife noticing it. Christine always leaves less money than what she ordered And Heba will not go out with us because her mentor/protege Soha instructing her not to do so..."
Nonetheless, I just sit there gazing at her, mesmerised. To all of her intelligent-lacking comments and her cheap moves, I nod my head like a zombie. Infatuation is such a cruel emotion.
What hurts me the most is that Karen (let us just call her that for the sake of this letter) is so into herself to the extent that she doesn't even notice my manoeuvres to get closer to her. In the midst of taking the utter care of herself and focusing in her trivial pursuits. How can she notice anyone else? How can the subtle ways of romance even approach her full of herself heart?
She is single and will be for a long time, I hope..
Dear S, I do not want you to comment and/or reply. Just writing this letter to you is both my relief and my salvation.
A man in control of himself is better than a man in control of a city, they say.
Good bye Karen. You will never know how unpleasant this was while it lasted...
Thursday, December 18, 2008
The Hidden Dangers of Karaoke Singing
I am quite comfortable with singing: Hardly the statement that a Middle Eastern man would concede to easily. But this is the truth. I have been playing the Piano for as long as I could remember. I do not have an incredible voice but I don't miss the tunes and I always used to sing.
Let me tell you a fool proof way to impress girls:
All throughout my university days, I used to take girls to the music room, play the piano and sing for them. The outcome of this feat, I would like to assure everyone is far more guaranteed than the most fancy romantic dinner.
The least I can say about Miriam is that she was incredible. Damn pretty -of course- with the unique talent of being angelic and naughty at the mean time. She was also a social animal and an amazing singer (of course!)
I spent most of adolescent life dreaming about just a conversation with her. But to my ultimate misfortune, for the known recorded history, Miriam only dated one guy. Yes, you guessed it right: I was not a close rival. Not even in the same league.
While Bassel was taking an active part in maintenance and medical assistance for the Pharaohs Rally. The closest I got to desert and off-roading was the Discovery Channel and Sport Auto magazine.
His dad owned half of Hurghada (including two yachts) while my friends and I took the bus and cramped ourselves in a 3 stars hotel at the utter most. To cut a long story short, it is the same old story. While they were the typical university star couple , I blended in oblivions in the background.
One day, it just happened. Miriam and Bassel broke up. To the present day -nearly 10 years later- the reason behind this break up eludes everyone.
What happened after that was like a dazed dream. An "unplanned" introduction by a mutual friend, casual talks while going back and forth on campus and finally, me gathering my wits to ask for a coffee together. Yes, just like that. One coffee, lead to the other and we were on the right track. Now, when I look back, I realize that these "coffees" were among the very few times in my life where I experienced pure -totally unstained- happiness.
We are all going to Johnny's this Wednesday for Karaoke Night, I told her. Interested?
Yes, sure. She replied.
So that was it, our first night out. It would be a smooth sail from this point onward I assured myself. I will talk to her, she will say yes… Bye bye Bassel… for good.
Got there, everybody was having a good time and she told me let us sing a duet together. The idea pleased me so much. Yeah let us do it.
The song started, she sang brilliantly and then I was up.
Over the following 6 years or so after that, I asked myself a zillion times: What the hell has gone into me that night? I missed the opening, got out of tune, sounded like a mule in labor and then got so nervous and missed the lyrics themselves. An absolute disaster.
Joining back the rest of our crowd, I saw it in her eyes right away: Hesitation.
No way, I kept assuring myself. No one in his right mind would decide the future of a relationship based on a Karaoke Song. She did.
Half an hour later, Miriam said it was getting late and that she had to go home. I never heard of her again, ever.
Ten years, A wife, Two kids and two Porsches later, I still do not sing Karaoke. The reason: No one knows.
Let me tell you a fool proof way to impress girls:
All throughout my university days, I used to take girls to the music room, play the piano and sing for them. The outcome of this feat, I would like to assure everyone is far more guaranteed than the most fancy romantic dinner.
The least I can say about Miriam is that she was incredible. Damn pretty -of course- with the unique talent of being angelic and naughty at the mean time. She was also a social animal and an amazing singer (of course!)
I spent most of adolescent life dreaming about just a conversation with her. But to my ultimate misfortune, for the known recorded history, Miriam only dated one guy. Yes, you guessed it right: I was not a close rival. Not even in the same league.
While Bassel was taking an active part in maintenance and medical assistance for the Pharaohs Rally. The closest I got to desert and off-roading was the Discovery Channel and Sport Auto magazine.
His dad owned half of Hurghada (including two yachts) while my friends and I took the bus and cramped ourselves in a 3 stars hotel at the utter most. To cut a long story short, it is the same old story. While they were the typical university star couple , I blended in oblivions in the background.
One day, it just happened. Miriam and Bassel broke up. To the present day -nearly 10 years later- the reason behind this break up eludes everyone.
What happened after that was like a dazed dream. An "unplanned" introduction by a mutual friend, casual talks while going back and forth on campus and finally, me gathering my wits to ask for a coffee together. Yes, just like that. One coffee, lead to the other and we were on the right track. Now, when I look back, I realize that these "coffees" were among the very few times in my life where I experienced pure -totally unstained- happiness.
We are all going to Johnny's this Wednesday for Karaoke Night, I told her. Interested?
Yes, sure. She replied.
So that was it, our first night out. It would be a smooth sail from this point onward I assured myself. I will talk to her, she will say yes… Bye bye Bassel… for good.
Got there, everybody was having a good time and she told me let us sing a duet together. The idea pleased me so much. Yeah let us do it.
The song started, she sang brilliantly and then I was up.
Over the following 6 years or so after that, I asked myself a zillion times: What the hell has gone into me that night? I missed the opening, got out of tune, sounded like a mule in labor and then got so nervous and missed the lyrics themselves. An absolute disaster.
Joining back the rest of our crowd, I saw it in her eyes right away: Hesitation.
No way, I kept assuring myself. No one in his right mind would decide the future of a relationship based on a Karaoke Song. She did.
Half an hour later, Miriam said it was getting late and that she had to go home. I never heard of her again, ever.
Ten years, A wife, Two kids and two Porsches later, I still do not sing Karaoke. The reason: No one knows.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
The World Falls in Love With Older Women
It all started out more than a decade ago... Out of nowhere came the very successful series Sex and the City. The idea was really simple but highly appealing. Four single women, all above 30 (actually up to early 40s) living, loving and experimenting with everything in New York.
Telling their stories as well as hers was Sarah Jessica Parker or Carrie Bradshaw. The free spirited writer who tells her story, her friends stories and shares all of her thoughts on men, women and their intricate relationships in the Big Apple.
The series was based on the best selling book by the same name. The witty and sexy actresses and especially the vibrant Kim Cattrall secured the continuation of this series for Six consecutive seasons.
And a movie launched early in 2008.
This started out an entire wave in entertainment: Older Women Power.
All of a sudden, the world seemed to forget all about young talents. No more sloppy love adventures. The world fell unmercifully in the grip of experienced, powerful and capable-of-seducing -any feeble man Divas.
Women were obviously getting more like wine: They only got better with age.
Examples are many, for your viewing pleasure check out these ones:
- Desperate Housewives: Perhaps the most successful TV series in this category. It revolves around 4 middle aged women and their so called household adventures including everything from a quick sexual indiscretion with the young -just out of the gym- gardener to premeditated -cold blooded- murder.
Now 6 seasons down the line, cougars already increased to 6 instead of 4. We just can't get enough of them.
- Cashmere Mafia / Lipstick Jungle: Betting on these previous successes, TV producers got more and more greedy. They started pushing more series of older women on our screens. These are just two more examples for that.
However, it could not hold any longer. Lipstick jungle featuring Brook Shields, and the ultimately hot Lindsay Price season 2 will not be screened. Although some of season 2 episodes are ready. NBC officials first moved the show from prime time TV spot and then cancelled it altogether.
- The Women - the movie: A movie taking it even one step further. The movie starlets are -of course- way past their prime (Meg Ryan and Annette Baning) They occupy the screen for around two hours struggling against an unfair life. But no need to worry, at the end, they manage to pull it altogether. Everything falls in place as long you are sincere and you take matters into your own hands. An idea i as old as they are as matter of fact. The only young actress (Eva Mendez) is shown as a Bimbo who steals Meg Ryan husband and only appears in two scenes. Furthermore, the movie makes sure not to show any male figures all throughout. Come on!!! This is a BIT too much.
So, this is my humble cry to everyone concerned. Khalas, it is over please get back to young girls doing girly things with nice boys. We just had enough of Older Women Power.
Telling their stories as well as hers was Sarah Jessica Parker or Carrie Bradshaw. The free spirited writer who tells her story, her friends stories and shares all of her thoughts on men, women and their intricate relationships in the Big Apple.
The series was based on the best selling book by the same name. The witty and sexy actresses and especially the vibrant Kim Cattrall secured the continuation of this series for Six consecutive seasons.
And a movie launched early in 2008.
This started out an entire wave in entertainment: Older Women Power.
All of a sudden, the world seemed to forget all about young talents. No more sloppy love adventures. The world fell unmercifully in the grip of experienced, powerful and capable-of-seducing -any feeble man Divas.
Women were obviously getting more like wine: They only got better with age.
Examples are many, for your viewing pleasure check out these ones:
- Desperate Housewives: Perhaps the most successful TV series in this category. It revolves around 4 middle aged women and their so called household adventures including everything from a quick sexual indiscretion with the young -just out of the gym- gardener to premeditated -cold blooded- murder.
Now 6 seasons down the line, cougars already increased to 6 instead of 4. We just can't get enough of them.
- Cashmere Mafia / Lipstick Jungle: Betting on these previous successes, TV producers got more and more greedy. They started pushing more series of older women on our screens. These are just two more examples for that.
However, it could not hold any longer. Lipstick jungle featuring Brook Shields, and the ultimately hot Lindsay Price season 2 will not be screened. Although some of season 2 episodes are ready. NBC officials first moved the show from prime time TV spot and then cancelled it altogether.
- The Women - the movie: A movie taking it even one step further. The movie starlets are -of course- way past their prime (Meg Ryan and Annette Baning) They occupy the screen for around two hours struggling against an unfair life. But no need to worry, at the end, they manage to pull it altogether. Everything falls in place as long you are sincere and you take matters into your own hands. An idea i as old as they are as matter of fact. The only young actress (Eva Mendez) is shown as a Bimbo who steals Meg Ryan husband and only appears in two scenes. Furthermore, the movie makes sure not to show any male figures all throughout. Come on!!! This is a BIT too much.
So, this is my humble cry to everyone concerned. Khalas, it is over please get back to young girls doing girly things with nice boys. We just had enough of Older Women Power.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Living in Cairo: A Little Tip
Today, I planned to take my wife to the movies. "We'll run just a quick errand on our way" she said. Being the good husband I am, I conceded. Leaving the building our Bawab approached me.
- Here is you laundry, he said
- Thanks Mohamed
- Aye Khedma ya Basha
I gave him a Pound
We drove to get a quick Birthday present for I don't know whom. Got in the shop, my wife was quick. Gift selected and wrapped. The lady packing the gift gave it to my wife and turned to me with a big smile.
- Koll sana wento taybeen..
I gave her a Pound
Getting out of the parking space, he appeared as usual out of no where.
- Ta3ala, ta3ala, ta3ala... Hop...
I gave him a Pound.
The roll of pounds in my pocket is getting thinner faster than anticipated, I thought.
We got in front of the cinema. Squeezed Calista between two humongous SUV's with customs plates.
We waited and they came. Two guys this time.
- Two pounds ya basha, one of them said
- Ok, when we re leaving, I replied.
- No.. Now, we are not going to wait till midnight, the other replied.
I gave them 2 Pounds
Get me some popcorn honey, I'll go quickly to the toilet.
While I was washing my hands, he appeared right over my shoulder with a small paper tissue in his hand.
- Koll sana wenta tayeb ya basha, he said in a husky voice.
I pushed the soap dispencer twice, rewashed my hands, hoping that he would go away. He didn't.
I gave him a Pound
And another Pound to the placeur (The guy who took you to your seats in the cinema, just in case you didn't know.)
Two hours and one dreadful movie later, getting out of the parking I spotted him running towards us from the very end of the road.
- Aywaaaa, Aywaaaa!!
The roll of Pounds in pocket finished. I just drove off.
I saw him in my rear view mirror curling his lips, weaving his hands in the air and heard him
- Bahwat Akher Zaman Sahih, Ekhss...!!!
- Here is you laundry, he said
- Thanks Mohamed
- Aye Khedma ya Basha
I gave him a Pound
We drove to get a quick Birthday present for I don't know whom. Got in the shop, my wife was quick. Gift selected and wrapped. The lady packing the gift gave it to my wife and turned to me with a big smile.
- Koll sana wento taybeen..
I gave her a Pound
Getting out of the parking space, he appeared as usual out of no where.
- Ta3ala, ta3ala, ta3ala... Hop...
I gave him a Pound.
The roll of pounds in my pocket is getting thinner faster than anticipated, I thought.
We got in front of the cinema. Squeezed Calista between two humongous SUV's with customs plates.
We waited and they came. Two guys this time.
- Two pounds ya basha, one of them said
- Ok, when we re leaving, I replied.
- No.. Now, we are not going to wait till midnight, the other replied.
I gave them 2 Pounds
Get me some popcorn honey, I'll go quickly to the toilet.
While I was washing my hands, he appeared right over my shoulder with a small paper tissue in his hand.
- Koll sana wenta tayeb ya basha, he said in a husky voice.
I pushed the soap dispencer twice, rewashed my hands, hoping that he would go away. He didn't.
I gave him a Pound
And another Pound to the placeur (The guy who took you to your seats in the cinema, just in case you didn't know.)
Two hours and one dreadful movie later, getting out of the parking I spotted him running towards us from the very end of the road.
- Aywaaaa, Aywaaaa!!
The roll of Pounds in pocket finished. I just drove off.
I saw him in my rear view mirror curling his lips, weaving his hands in the air and heard him
- Bahwat Akher Zaman Sahih, Ekhss...!!!
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