An Ending without Closure

Tarek woke up with an unusual uneasy feeling deep inside. He has been going out with Touta for 6 months now. And it all seemed like a dream. He loved her from afar for years. Now that they are together he couldn't help but to love her even more. For the past few weeks however, the ride got a little bit tough. Nothing out of the unusual. After, the initial "I love you just the way you are" phase, it is normal for the gears to grind against each other. He was just hoping that this period will be shorter that longer.
After, a more than mild argument, there was no contact for a couple of days. Then Just yesterday, Tarek has called touta. But he could not get through to her. She was not at home and did not call back.
"I'll call her again today" he said to himself.
"She's in the bathroom, she'll call you once she gets out" came the dry answer from the maid.
She never called.
Now, 10 years, a wife and a kid later; Tarek still feels a squeeze in his heart when he remembers this story.

We all passed through this situation in one format or the other. It might be at work, with friends or even within our family. However, I believe that a love ending so abruptly and inconclusively is perhaps the most painful. (That is unless you have a beloved one in the army and is Lost in Action somewhere.)
Each story has to have a solid end. We were brought up this way. A sports match has a result, an essay has a conclusion, even some of Youssef Shahin movies have a well defined end and a love affair must have a closure.
Just imagine this, you go out with the boy/girl of your dreams on a first date. Everything goes perfectly well and then you never hear from him/her again. This open finish is unacceptable for most. The obvious reason is "why?", "what went wrong?", "Don't I deserve an explanation?" a couple of words on the phone, sms or even an email or a message on Facebook??
Relationships come to an end all the time but they don't just vanish into thin air for no reason.

Well, Actually they do and the more serious and long term the relationship is the most prone to sudden and inexplicable failure it is.
The most prominent reason of the Break-up in a serious relationship is nothing!! In the famous book "Drifting Marriage", it is concluded that around 70% of marriages (and this can be expanded to all long term commitments) end for no specific or major cause. By time, under the pressures of life and by accumulation of minor squabbles people just drift apart. From lovers, to roommates to strangers. One of them then just walks a way.
As put very simply by 12 years old Dina: "One day my dad left home."

I think that there is nothing more painful than a story -whatever this story might be- without closure. At this instance, one is left empty and lost. He has so many words left unspoken. His mind and emotions are trapped within the merciless walls of "what if's" endless possibilities and his heart is stalled lingering on a deserted trail.

At the Movies: El Shayateen..

Since I was a little kid, I was a big fan of the El Shayateen El 13 (The 13 devils) novels.
It was a series of books intended for youngsters in which a group of young Arab adventurers fight evil under the leadership of a mystery man called Mr. Zero.
Each one of them belonged to a different Arab country and used a code number besides his name. No. 1 was Ahmed from Egypt.

The movie full name is called El Shayateem, the Comeback.
Hence it is about the return of a reluctant Ahmed for a new adventure; after what appears as a failed mission that took place 20 years ago.
This time the fight is against a vicious Antiquities smuggling gang. The movie contains a couple of nice twists and is entertaining as a whole. Especially bearing in mind that the this is the first full feature for a young director/scenario writer.

The movie starts with the wrong assumption that everybody has a back ground of the original stories. This left 90% of the audience quite clueless for perhaps the first 15 minutes. Then another slow half hour was lost watching Ahmed attempting to gather up his team as well as bits and pieces of the conspiracy at hand.
The movie picks up some pace after that when the action begins. Although, in my opinion, a specialist in action sequences was badly needed. Too much hand held camera and fast camera motion do not necessarily mean suspense and action!! The film music was basically a series of 1970's motives, a little bit more effort and tunes were also needed there.
All the girls in the movie seem to like Ahmed but nothing materializes; as he is too preoccupied in his current mission as well as full of remorse over the last adventure that went bad a long time ago.

So after 2 hours, all the bad guys are neutralized except for their leader who escapes in anticipation of a sequel.
Do not hold your breath though, I do not think this sequel will see the light any time soon.

Facebook is for Dorks!

Dork (dawrk) : An offensive term that deliberately insults somebody's intelligence, physical appearance or social skills (slang insult)

According to an article in Fortune magazine, "anyone who is over 25 years old and has an account on Facebook is a dork"
When I first read this I was a little bit offended. I am way over 25. I have a Facebook account. And for all that it is worth, I do not see myself as a Dork!!
Then I decided to read the article a little bit further. "Let's see what this guy has to say anyway"!
I summarized the article content in a few points -Dialogue like- here below
- Joining a social network is cool.
- Ok, and then??

- It allows you to catch up with old friends
- If they were really your friends you would have their contacts. If you do not have their contacts may be they were not your friends to start with.

- So who should I add to be my friends on Facebook? I'm already in close contact with my friends and My colleagues at work. So, should I add my distant friends, acquaintances and business contacts perhaps? And let them see my status and personal photos?
- ….
After using Facebook for sometime now, I somehow agree with the article. In my opinion, the social site is more of a hype without any real added value. May be for a younger generation, it would be a nice flirting tool but that is it.
Just ask yourself, when you first started out on Face how often you used to check it? How often do you use it now?
I used to get posts, invitations, mails,… all the time. Now, the frequency is far less. Basically, it is a very few bunch that is constantly adding applications or joining groups and sending them to their entire list without any real "personal" content.

And this is all I have to say about that :))

M&H

Sometimes, we get struck by the most unusual facts in the most unexpected times. I always thought I knew what I wanted. May be not in so many details but a rough sketch has been always there in my mind.
Till I met you.

An absolute revelation struck me. It had nothing to do with your beauty, style or finesse although you have loads of all of these. However, I have passed my years and I have learned my lessons to overcome these minor attractions.
I said to myself: She is just a pretty face. Then you turned around and you spoke to me. I cannot remember the last time I had a conversation with such an intelligent person.
Intelligent women drive me crazy.

You talked about yourself and you talked about your family. For no reason, but within the constraints of our limited minded society, you decided to share with me some of your life. I learned about your work, your studies and your family. As much as I was attracted to your intelligence, I could not help but to admire your persistence and responsibility. You take charge, when the call comes for, and you make it happen.
A man definitely needs his partner to fight at his side.
The days of romantic women waiting for their lovers at the window; or even the days when every great man needed a woman to only give moral support are long gone my friend.

In a world that is so demanding I dreamed about you. In my dream I felt protected and safe by your mere presence and an overwhelming glow of serenity engulfed us.

I do not know who I am and I still do not know what I want.
One thing I am sure of though: I wish I had you.

On Hot Tin!

A questions that is asked over and over: "What happened to the Egpyptians?"

I will not go over a degrading Education and a collapsing Health System. I will skip pauverty and very poor living standards. All of these has been gone over so many times in so many places.

But may be due to these factors -and others not stated here- something is building up in our society: Agressive Intereference in Other People's lifes.

A very strange incident in the papers dragged my attention to this matter.



"An army soldier was performing his service on a watch tower. From his place on that tower, he saw a man and a woman making love. They were in a shop nearby. The soldier pulled his fire arm and shot both of them, killing the woman and injuring the man." This is how the story was published in Ahram.



When I read that, I could not believe myself. The soldier made himself a judge, jury and excutioner of innocent people. He shot them without even asking. May be they were man and wife and if they did not how could they be condemend to death in such a fashion. even more problematic, by whom: An army soldier with a duty to protect them in the first place!

This is an outstanding example of something we suffer from every day. Everyone is watching, judging in everyone else's life.

"How come you are unveiled?"

"Men with big beards just give me the creeps"

"I heard he drinks"

And so many more examples.

Frustration is building up and it feels like the whole society is boiling to an explosion.


This is very true and it is apparent in our every day to day ordinary situations.

Snatch a Ladie's purse in dowtown Cairo, chances are may be one or two would chase you. However, kiss a girl at the same place, you'll probably get nicked and beaten by at least half a dozen!!


This interference started out perhaps 30 years ago in the 1970's as a trend of social judging. When Egypt was opening and embracing Gulf State ideas and ways of living. At the mean time, these rich petroleum states were attempting to force their culture over the world just by virtue of having more and more money to spend.

Egyptians came back from the Gulf Countries with a new Bedouin identity. We hate the West, underestimate the power of science and reserach and lough at the word "Civil Society."
The entire world is now watching us with sorrow.
The Gulf states blossoming with Petrol and Trade money ran full speed on the path of Business and Modenization.
Egypt is left trapped with Libya, Sudan, the So-called Palestine and burnning Lebanon. What an ill fate...

Drifted/Let it Snow

(1) Sherif, in his bed, 10PM.

It all started with a mediocre fantasy.
I got home, showered and slipped right into bed with Samaa. It had been almost a week since we were together. Admittedly after 4 years of marriage, our encounters are a little less but passion still remains.
In the heat of the moment, she suddenly came into my mind. A vivid image of Sara just materialised out of no where. She was wearing her black one shouldered blouse, and her brown eyes radiated. How come I never noticed before her incredible dark lean figure?
I shook my head to get her out of my mind. It did not work.

(2) Sara, Heliopolis Club, 3PM.

They say that life is full of choices. This is not true; at least for me. I did not choose my parents. I got bad grades in high school, so I did not choose my university and I met Tarek through the family. When I get pregnant I will not be able to choose whether it is a boy, a girl… You just do not choose anything that matters in your life.
Tarek, my husband, and Sherif are best friends. Although they share a lot of traits among them, they were also very different. While Tarek is always loud, always late and just loves to go out all the time and mingle; Sherif was more discreet, calm and reserved. In my opinion: more refined.
On any given day, I would have chosen Sherif.

3) Marwan, Grand Café, 8:30PM.

I saw them. I swear to God I saw them…
When we arrived at Grand Café, I said hi to Sara
- Where is Tarek? I asked
- He’s running a little bit late at work. He’ll be coming soon.
Right next to her sat Sherif and I saw it: For more than a couple of minutes their legs were leaning against each other. Only from where I was sitting this could be seen. At first, I could not grasp what’s happening and then I started to notice more. All so casually they touched a few times that evening. She would laugh and hold his elbow. He would be teased and punch tenderly her shoulder. No one seemed to notice, is it just me..?
Tarek and Sherif had it all: Money, wits and their own businesses. They do not wake up to their mobile phone alarm. They eat breakfast and have their own parking space. I run in panic every day at 7am and pray to find a squeeze for my old Calista 2 Km from work. As if all of this was not enough now they are hitting on each others wives; a typical businessmen drama if you ask me.

4) Sherif, his office, 1 PM:

I read in an article once that there are 3 major forces that control one’s actions: emotions (Love, hate, anger…), time and boredom. If you control your emotions and stand absolutely powerless to the passage of time one factor will remain: Boredom.
I opened my mail, 20 messages, all work.
For the last couple of months, once or twice a week I would receive an SMS or a call from her. What is happening? Or where are we from the thin red line? Sincerely, I did not know. I am completely intoxicated by her.
Just last week, we met at a wedding. While I was kissing her hi, I just twisted my neck slightly that I half kissed her lips. Perhaps one of the most stupid things I have done in my entire life. She smiled and walked away. She did not talk to me the entire evening and then, while I was standing on the edge of the dance floor, she came from behind me “Don’t stair at the girls, I’m watching you.”

5) Sara, her parents’ house, 11AM

Scented salt bath and then 15 minutes of Jacuzzi makes you totally rejuvenated. I rubbed my entire body with Victoria’s Secret lotion.
To do anything, all you need is the right timing and the right set of circumstances as I once heard in a movie. So, what should I wear?
- Hi Sherif, I’m at my parents’ house and there is a very strong smell of gas. I don’t know what to do.
- Close the valve and open the windows. Also, don’t touch the lights, I’ll be right there.
I wore a white tank top, white shorts and flip-flops. I looked at the mirror “girl you look fine!” A flash of fear squeezed my heart.

6) Marwan, in his car (Calista), Noon

My father was right about one thing “A career in accounting kills your soul” Today, I just had enough. “My sister is really ill and I have to go to attend to her” I told my alien-faced boss.
I was just getting to Le Café, “What is Sherif’s car doing here at mid-day?” I thought for a few seconds. This is Sara parents’ house, it hit me. Her pre-wedding party was there, I remember well. I’ll be damned. This is huge… Well, I’ll be damned if I care!!!
Out of no where, a strange Christmas carol came to me “Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow…”

The Fish that Rotted from its Tail

The Story:
The Egyptian Book Authority decides to re-issue a cultural magazine (Ibda3). The editor in chief of this publication is the renowned Egyptian Poet Ahmed Abdel Motie Hegazy. While the magazine is in print a worker realised -somehow- that the issue contains a poem that undermines God!! So, the print workers -acting out of pure faith- decide to stop printing the magazine. Furthermore they decide to take an extra step and attempted to BURN the, in stock, printed issues!!
The story does not end here. When this matter came to the papers, everyone wondered how could this be done by Print Workers who, obviously, are not qualified to assess literary works. The president of the authority decided to back-up the workers and stopped the publication. Here the News Story ends and begins the never ending story.

More and more prejudices and judgements are seeping into our quotidian lives. Everyone pretending to protect tradition or, more importantly, religion is judging -and sometime acting against- what is contrary to his own personal believes. What made it even worse and on the Verge of catastrophe is the people behind the judgments. Who are the people currently shaping our lives and believes?

- Simple workers with minimal or no education are all over tourism. They are judging and influencing everything from Tourists dress codes to beach drinking habits.
- Small employees and or clerks in National TV (yes it still exists!) are ultimately the ones deciding on the content of the Series/Programs produced. Also, they interfere to censorship old Egyptian movies produced back in the 1950's and 1960's.
- Cairo urban planning and traffic control plans are devised by junior police officers and municipality administrators.
The list goes on and on from education content, government schools, health, agriculture,... and ends up by the Print Workers who are now acting as my intellectual guardians.

Since the military rule began in Egypt (it is still ongoing by the way) and subsequent governments went through a very persistent effort to minimise the cultured/intellectual/ specialists roles in our society.
The regime always preferred "the people of trust over the people of knowledge."
After more than 40 years, this where we are: A country where the government only protects itself, a silent knowing minority with absolutely no input to the masses and a majority boiling with rage waiting to snap at anything.
Even if this thing is just a poem.