Thursday, November 8, 2007

An Ending without Closure

Tarek woke up with an unusual uneasy feeling deep inside. He has been going out with Touta for 6 months now. And it all seemed like a dream. He loved her from afar for years. Now that they are together he couldn't help but to love her even more. For the past few weeks however, the ride got a little bit tough. Nothing out of the unusual. After, the initial "I love you just the way you are" phase, it is normal for the gears to grind against each other. He was just hoping that this period will be shorter that longer.
After, a more than mild argument, there was no contact for a couple of days. Then Just yesterday, Tarek has called touta. But he could not get through to her. She was not at home and did not call back.
"I'll call her again today" he said to himself.
"She's in the bathroom, she'll call you once she gets out" came the dry answer from the maid.
She never called.
Now, 10 years, a wife and a kid later; Tarek still feels a squeeze in his heart when he remembers this story.

We all passed through this situation in one format or the other. It might be at work, with friends or even within our family. However, I believe that a love ending so abruptly and inconclusively is perhaps the most painful. (That is unless you have a beloved one in the army and is Lost in Action somewhere.)
Each story has to have a solid end. We were brought up this way. A sports match has a result, an essay has a conclusion, even some of Youssef Shahin movies have a well defined end and a love affair must have a closure.
Just imagine this, you go out with the boy/girl of your dreams on a first date. Everything goes perfectly well and then you never hear from him/her again. This open finish is unacceptable for most. The obvious reason is "why?", "what went wrong?", "Don't I deserve an explanation?" a couple of words on the phone, sms or even an email or a message on Facebook??
Relationships come to an end all the time but they don't just vanish into thin air for no reason.

Well, Actually they do and the more serious and long term the relationship is the most prone to sudden and inexplicable failure it is.
The most prominent reason of the Break-up in a serious relationship is nothing!! In the famous book "Drifting Marriage", it is concluded that around 70% of marriages (and this can be expanded to all long term commitments) end for no specific or major cause. By time, under the pressures of life and by accumulation of minor squabbles people just drift apart. From lovers, to roommates to strangers. One of them then just walks a way.
As put very simply by 12 years old Dina: "One day my dad left home."

I think that there is nothing more painful than a story -whatever this story might be- without closure. At this instance, one is left empty and lost. He has so many words left unspoken. His mind and emotions are trapped within the merciless walls of "what if's" endless possibilities and his heart is stalled lingering on a deserted trail.

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