From the Pavement

A Diary of Separation, Ep. 4: The Maze

2010-10-27T02:57:00.000-07:00

Maze: noun, complex system of paths or tunnels in which it is easy to get lost.

I do not recall anything from the period after my family was gone. No matter how hard I try, these memories persistently evade my mind. I remember pain though and I recall anger mixed with disbelief.
Wrapped in a black cloud of mist, I recapture discussions and arguments. Friends and relatives attempting -and not all in good faith- to play the Good Samaritan. As if resolving my altercation is the last remaining open door to heaven.
But how could they? How could an abstract advice resolve a very personal and intimate crisis? And how could an hour of talk rebuild what took years to fall apart?

One day, maybe three months later, I got out of my room and went into the living room, for the first time.
Hesitantly, I laid down in an old sofa and tried to watch TV. I couldn’t find the remote. Then I realized it. I know almost nothing about this place I call home.
I don’t know where most of my cloths and my books are.
I don’t have a clue about what’s in the kitchen million drawers and compartments.
And although I am an engineer, I found that operating the washing machine or the dishwasher is a considerably complicated task.
It is true when they say “Home is where the heart is”
I am definitely homeless at heart.

At a certain point, during the course of life, we all meet the grey ghost of failure. However, what is far more difficult is to meet the white knight of defeat.
Especially when the fall is colossal.
Even as you are trying to get up and put it all together, you look around; everybody is staring. But none with affection.
An old track plays in my ears “Everybody loves winners that’s why nobody loves me.”

On the Second Time (Complete)

2010-10-06T03:31:00.000-07:00

(1)

Even Police Stations look different in Heliopolis; so clean and so much light. I tried to remember what time it was. I could not tell for sure. The last time I looked, it was 8:30 pm. But it seemd like it has been such a long time since then. I just got through the station front door and was practically dragged by anonymous strong arms. To where? I could not tell. We were moving quickly and a lot of people surrounded me, all talking at the same time. I understood every word they said but did not make anything out of it. My mouth kept on a monotonous murmur: It was not my fault; it was not my fault…

Finishing school was never really a viable option for me. Just passing my third preparatory year (at 17), my father sent me to take care of the Family Kiosk in Heliopolis. A prestigious, well paid job that made me the envy of almost every guy my age, and the desire of a lot of girls, in our desolate alley situated deep inside Imbaba. My day was fairly simple, I would take a Microbus everyday from Courniche to Heliopolis, open up to customers at around 9:30am and close at 9:30pm. Almost all my clients were regulars. The school kids from the private primary near by, people from the neighberhood and regular pass buyers consituted my day for almost two years. "You should start looking for a wife." El Hagga said. "It is still to early" I replied and thought to myself "Why stick to one when you can have a lot." I smiled sheepishely.

- I have never seen a similar car, wow... My friend Ahmed said. I tilted my head a little bit and he was right. An amazing big black 4x4 just pulled in font of us.

The electric window opened up and the man inside asked for a pack of cigarettes. I got what he wanted and put it on the selling board in front of me. Without even looking at me, and without getting out of his shining car, I saw him getting out the money of his pocket, stretching his hand to me.

Some people think they own this world. Even more, they think they own us with it; as an irrelevant bonus. I make less than 50 piasters profit per pack of cigarettes. If this moron thinks I'll leave my chair to serve him he is gravely mistaken. I continued my imaginary phone converstation.

- A pack of Lights please. I heard him say.

- .... So, Ahmed you said that the goods will be a little late. I went on my fake phone converstaion.

Incrudelously, he got out of his 4x4. He slammed the door, went all around the huge vehicle and gave me a 10 pounds note.

- We don't have change. I said. Do you have 50 P.

He gave me 50P. Grabbed the pack and was gone in less than a second. I despised him so much. I hated him, his smell and his car. No one owns me.

(2)

There is a king in everyone of us. I smiled to myself. Even this little bugger in this wretched Kiosk thinks that he is better than to pass me a pack of cigarette.
He does not look at me and even fakes a phone conversation just to avoid moving his.... and does his job. Egypt will never be a respectable country as long as these lazy worms live in it.
Everyone sees the new Chevrolet Blazer, dad got from Saudi when he came back, thinks that we got in bed with a Saudi Prince or something.
Twenty seven years of hard labor, twenty seven years away from his family and for what?? A small appartment in Helipolis, the big 4x4 and a small sum at the bank. Small business men in Egypt make more in a year then what he wasted his life upon. I puffed loudly the smoke of my cigarette.

Exactly in the middle, this is where I found myself getting into MIU. Needless to say, I did not make it in Thanaweya Amma. Nobody, I knew did actually.

This is why they have private universities, I told dad. He hated me for it. This is the last thing he wanted. Another absolutely useless expense to weigh on his Gulf savings.

However, getting to school, I realized that in the middle was a very awkward place to be. I didn’t fit with the rich crowed that spend the summer in Hacienda and went to the pool in Katameya Heights. Also, I could not get along with the struggling crowed fighting with grades, financial aid and barely making the tuition each semester. I was not super cool, intelligent or a Piano master. MIU definitely lacked the guy next door sort of people.

I was alone.

Everybody kept talking about the student body. Only God knows what that is.

- You either drink Coca Cola or tea. No one would willingly drink room temperature, tab water... I told myself

- Tab water, tab water... If this is who I am. This is who I am

I ran quickly to catch the school bus heading back to Heliopolis.

(3)

What is so wrong if I do not want to live and die in this dump?

The entire family exploded in laughter when I said that. However, when they realized I was dead serious, silence engulfed the room. My father was the first to burst back at me.

- And where shall we get the money to move elsewhere? He yelled.

- I know how much the kiosk makes and how much you saved, I responded challenging.

- And what about your younger brothers, your sister who is about to get married; are you damn stupid?

This was not going in the right direction. I just mumbled some dirty words and ran out of the room as he jumped and wanted to grab me.

Heading back to work next day, my father came to me “from next week, your brother will be going to the kiosk with you.

He said it like a spit on my face and left.

So, that’s it then. A power play. My brother was never nothing but a nag and a big loser. He’s coming to spy on me, to make sure that I don't "borrow" from the income or make something on the side.

On my way, I fought with the Microbus driver. Two pounds fifty he said.

- It has been always two pounds.

He slammed the breaks “pay or leave.” I paid. They got me off more than 2 kilometers from the Kiosk.

It was incredibly hot today. Drenched in sweat, I saw him driving down the street. The same big black 4x4 with the same smug guy.

(4)

I have been driving aimlessly for the last two hours.

Her words kept bouncing back and forth in my head squeezing my heart. “You and me?!! You must be joking. When we talk and we laugh, I am not laughing with you. I am laughing At you...” She turned around and walked.

I just stood there, naked, defeated. Everybody on campus was behaving normally. How could they?

That evening, I drove and drove. It was extremely hot and humid, thank God for the AC.

- Two packs of Lights please...

No answer, and then it struck me. It is the same Kiosk and this same ass again...!!

And I felt it. I swear to GOD I Felt it. A huge brown eagle landed on my shoulder and he whispered in my ear. “Are you going to be forever anonymous, gutless and scared?”

That was it.

I stepped out of the car screaming, cursing and walked straight to him.

In a flash, he came out and I spotted it right away. A little shiny object in his hand. The realization struck me and in a desperate move I tried to block the blade.

It slashed the inside of my arm and I felt it through my left rib. The lightning bolt of pain was excruciating but it only lasted a split second. I stumbled and tried to lean on something but fell. My eyes, turning, got a glance at my big watch. It was 8:30PM.

It didn't feel that bad, just moving from one lonely place to another.

Actually, I felt nothing, nothing at all..

A Diary of Separation, Ep.2: Mad Dog and Glory

2010-10-06T03:29:00.000-07:00

Ep. 2: Mad Dog and Glory

" we shall fight in the fields and in the streets,

we shall fight in the hills;

we shall never surrender" (Winston Churchill)

Funny, how a single word or a single decision can become a landmark in your life. Funnier still when this word is such a simple one that we use everyday but we never really mean.

On this day, I decided to Just Say "No"

* No, you cannot do whatever you want , whenever you want.
* No, I cannot accept being taken for granted all the time.
* And No, I will not let it pass for this time only.

Doing that, I hit a solid wall called Acquired Rights.

For some inexplicable reason, when one agrees to a certain situation. He is, almost certainly, expected to agree to similar situations in the future. Why is this, a somehow, fair assumption?

However, even more puzzling is that by time one loses his right to say "No"

Whatever, you have given up willingly (or unwillingly in this particular case) becomes an Acquired Right for the receiver. To change your situation or say no is met, at this instance, by fierce resistance. And a vicious territorial war starts.

"Never let the sun go down on your anger" That was perhaps one of the first and best advices I got when I got married. But as the relationship drifted and we grew further apart, even small differences were becoming increasingly difficult to patch. The song goes "All You Need is Love." This is not true, I am afraid. There is so much love can do by itself. Without understanding, compromise, kindness and mutual respect any relationship, no matter how passionate, is really doomed. So by time, efforts are stopped, angers are well left overnight and small fires, eventually turn into infernos.

This is where I was on this bleak December day. I have said no, took my stand and put my foot down.

I still felt deeply for my wife, no confusion about that. But, I could not stand the life we were having. We are in love, I assured myself.

* All I am asking is just some compromise. Any relationship is a two way street based upon giving as well as taking. I said to her.

But, I could see it in her eyes. A mixture of surprise and anger. Surprise that 7 years of taming the husband have gone in vain and anger of the thought of giving up her spoils, already won and secured. She was not going to surrender an inch of her invaded lands, not a single item on our negotiations list. For some reason, she made up her mind this will be a dog fight and a fight to the bitter end...

A Diary of Separation, Ep.1: It Takes Two to Tango

2010-10-06T03:26:00.000-07:00

Episode 1: It Takes to Tango

" But we were not those people, to whom bad things happen for no reason" (The Lovely Bones.)

- - I will not be treated like a cat anymore... That was my resolution waking up on this fine autumn day in October.

A week ago the obvious got revealed to me. For the last few months, my wife was giving me exactly the same amount of love and care as she was giving to Ezz El Din our cat. Some can argue that this is not necessarily a bad thing. We both - Ezz and I- got up in the morning to find sweetened milk (and cookies for me) at the breakfast table. We both had our clothes and living spaces regularly cleaned and we both got a good night hug and kiss. What more can a cat ask for...

Seven years and two failed relationships ago, my friend Ihab decided to give me the good advice. “You can’t just follow your heart into any relationship like that, especially if you want this relationship to grow into a lifetime commitment.” He Said. “You have to do your homework and really study how suitable and compatible this person is to you.” And honest to God, this is exactly what I intended to do when I met her. Actually, I did half of my homework and the inevitable happened. I loved her. All of my friends asked: Why? But do we really have to have a reason to love?

After a swift and semi bumpy ride on the path of engagement, we took the marriage expressway. But, soon enough, I realised that this road is really very peculiar. It has no U-turns whatsoever and the destination is exclusively her choice (Hence the famous say of a lot women: It is either my way or the highway). Right from the start, she made sure that I would get this message. Right after getting back from our honeymoon and during a very mild argument, she moved out of our room, called her parents and wanted them to take her back home. Attempting to avoid problems at this early stage, I let it slide. That was obviously a fatal mistake.

The first thing they teach to every married couple is that the secret of a happy life is compromise, understanding and trust. However, they never taught us where is the fine line between compromise and weakness, understanding and passivity or trust and naivety. This was perhaps my fault. So many times I told myself “soft paddling will never get you anywhere...” Get mad, confront, and express yourself. But, I conceded and she led our Tango... Straight to hell.

2010-09-07T16:12:00.000-07:00

I wanted to write you a love song
But the words came out dry
Sleepless nights, curling in my dreams
no moon, not a twinkle
Just an angry dark sky

I wanted to write you a love song
but then I wondered why?
meaningless rhymes, lurking in a hazy maze
with no faith and no wings
Can you ask me to fly?

I wanted to write you a lullaby
or to scream or to cry
I even tried to fake a smile
yet all what came out
was just a tiny sigh

A Diary of Separation, Ep.3: Taking the Blue Pill

2010-08-16T04:43:00.000-07:00

"The only thing you can do easily is be wrong, and that's hardly worth the effort" (The Phantom Tollbooth)

One day, my wife left home.
It was a hot spring day late March and we had just had our last fight. One of us must leave, we agreed. Our kids were starting to feel the toll of continuous squabbles and life was really a pain. But we disagreed on who should do it.
I stormed out of the house.
Coming back from work, the security guard told me that I just missed them.
"They just left for their little trip…" He said.
But I knew better, this was the start of a totally different journey. A one I knew I did not sign for.

That was it.
Just like a dream (or a nightmare depending on your perspective) my short adventure with marriage came to an abrupt end.
I never saw or talked to her again. And she basically did even try.
Life went on -of course it did- albeit slower, like trickles from an old tab days went by.
Whomever said that there is a close connection between memories and smells was absolutely right. The odors of biscuits, baby shampoos and diapers' cream were quickly disappearing. In just a week, our large house kept only the very distinct smell of locked uninhabited places. I took off all of our wedding photos as well as hers' and hid them in a closed box in the basement.

So, what is the definition of "normal"?
It doesn't really matter. However, what I knew for a fact is that I am sailing away from it's shores. Into an absolutely foreign ocean. An ocean that might or might not hold a safe port.
Strange words started to creep in my life and in my mind. "My kids are coming to spend some time with me, court and step mom" were all of a sudden in my present or my future. What meant to be for life ended. All that remains is a sour business deal, with a person who is nothing but a perfect stranger to me.

Every time you had a fight to go out when I did not want to, I hope it was well worth it.
Every time you lied to me to do whatever you desired, I hope it was well worth it.
Every time you skipped our family lunches, wiggled out of a romantic dinners and came up with excuses not to take our children on vacation, I hope it was well worth it.
The freedom that you wanted so bad is yours for good, I hope you're glad.

The Woman in the White Cotton Coat: My Aunt Leaving Shebin to London

2010-06-28T06:01:00.000-07:00

And Shebin here, of course, is Shebin El Kom the capital of Menoufia, the governerate right on the bottom tip of Delta, and home to 2 of 3 Egyptian Presidents (4 if you count Mohamed Naguib) My Father's family lived in Shebin from 1940 to 1958.
For my aunt to get into Medical School, they moved to Cairo when she was 16 years old. However, these 16 years seem all what really affected her and shaped her memories. My aunt moved to London in 1971 and never came back to settle in Cairo. After over 30 years of practice in the UK and travelling most of the world, she only talks and remembers fondly Shebin.
Obviously, not only Cairo was cosmopolitan in these times. The chief nun in her school was French, her best friend was Lebanese and the grocery store where they used to go to buy treats was, certainly, Greek...
"Every day the Hantour would come and pick me up and your dad to go to school" she remembers laughing. And she goes on and on telling about how great this city was and how lovely was it to walk on the Shebin Sea Courniche.
"Your grandfather was a member of the Shell club. He used to take us on vacation days. I just cannot forget how sumptuous the club was with the neat pool tables and the huge Chesterfield sofas." She adds.
She never mentions Heliopolis in the 1960's, where she spend her college days; or my grand grand mother house in El Maleka St. She never talks about her life and career in foggy London. To her life stopped in 1958 and Shebin El Kom.
Egyptians belonging to their land is just incredible. Seven thousands years of farming and civilisation tend to do that to people.
It is certain that everybody loves his/her country. But, I sincerely do not think that any other people are so rooted in their soil like Egyptians.

"Egypt is not a country we live in. It is a country that lives in us" (Pope Shenouda III)

Ode to My School

2010-03-22T05:22:00.000-07:00

Just the other day, by a very strange stroke of coincidence, I found my kinder garden napkin.
I was at my parents house, shaving, and here it was. Just exactly as I left it very long ago, squared, pink with my name stitched in clear white letters.
How can I remember it all so vividly?
The chequered "tablier"(that I used to hate so much), my little black leather strap bag and the smell of biscuit and sand mixed with childhood innocence.
Our young French teacher with her little nose and very short dark hair taking our tiny hands and dancing around in circles. "Sur le pont d'avignon, on dance, on dance..."
The swing, le balance and my bleeding knees were almost a daily routine.
How, sometimes, I used to cry attempting to avoid the inevitable, holding on tight to my grandma while crossing Triumph square on our way. I thought maybe, just this once, she'll turn back and take me home with her.
I looked up and saw a glimpse in the mirror.
Where did this hardened face come from? Where are my hair curls and pimples?
I felt a tap on my trouser...
With a faint smile, and Ferry's hand in mine we walked out. I found myself murmuring "Au claire de la lune, mon ami Pierrot..."

Hating February..

2010-03-04T01:49:00.001-08:00

I hate Mondays
Garfield

After the glorious autumn during October, Christmas during December and New Beginnings in January comes the bleak February.
The Romans considered Winter as a "Month less" season. It was not till 700BC that February made it and was added to the Calendar. Then for a very long time it was considered the last month of the year.

All throughout my childhood and university days February had one major meaning: Back to School. In the days where schools and universities used to have a known "more or less" Mid year recess, the beginning of February indicated the return to everything I hated most; waking up at 6am, freezing my butt off on the Heliopolis tram on the way to school and a general incomprehensible sense of emptiness.

Historically (And to date), February was exclusively used to correct the calendar. It used to be 24, 26 or 27 days. Then attempting to align the months with the season February finally reached the 28 days (and 29 every fourth year!!)

For all the businesses in Egypt February is nicknamed Fa2rayer (the Poor Month for our only English readers:)) It is the lowest month in the year in GDP generation and well known for generally eating out profits instead of generating it.

The name February comes from the Latin term Februum meaning Purification. As in ancient Rome 15 of February marked the celebration of this ritual.
Now a day, February of course is also marked with a major ritual one day apart from Purification. Yes, the one and only Valentine's Day. Known in the West from hundreds of years and became famous in Egypt in the last couple of decades or so. V day is a celebration of love among intimate couples (this note is specific for all the people celebrating this day with mom, sister, friends, etc...)
Anyway, this again added to my February dreads. For a reason beyond my comprehension, on almost all Valentine's days, I had to find myself alone. No love and even worse no hope...

So my dear February, I would like to assure you. This is personal. And I am really happy it is March...

Just Normal...

2009-10-19T06:51:00.000-07:00

Hi,
My name is Mohamed, my friends in Europe call me John but you can call me Chang. Don't raise your eye brows! You don't know me? I am you neighbour living just around the corner, 3000 Km away.
Not yet? Let me try to describe myself a little then. I am average height and weight with no peculiar facial or ethnic traits. This doesn't really help, I see. Well ok, I am a member of the biggest group in the world. Governments call us the Public (hence public transport, public toilets, public beaches and so on..), politicians call us the Silent Majority while movie stars and sports celebrities call us the Fans.

It is true that I am not famous or anything. However, I get me share of the news . The only difference between our group and the captains of business and politics is that while they are referred to by name, we are referred to by numbers or statistics:
- An estimated number of 2000 people died in the El Salam Ferry sinking.
- The rate of unemployment has risen by 2% during the second quarter of 2009.
- 34 killed and 106 injured in 3 bombings in Iraq
- 70% of the married male population in Europe cheated on their wives at one point, at least, during their marriage.

We don't design bridges. We build them. We do not plan wars or revolutions. We just fight them. We don't play sports. We just fill the stadiums and watch the live broadcast burdened with silly advertisement.
The consumers, the customers, the masses and the corner stone of modern civilisation. Actually, during the last economic crisis they also gave us credit. All of our financial, problems and worries; all of the measures we took to go on living through the turbulence were deduced to: The Consumers' Confidence Index.

I never complain and I never tire. I just go through life one day at a time. Whether it is in the hunger-stricken plains of Ethiopia or the warm wooden houses in Sweden, it is still me. One conviction, I always have: "God loves normal people. That is why he created so many of them."

Picture Frame..

2009-10-19T06:37:00.000-07:00

I was never really a fan of Birthdays. Not trying to be cynical or anything. It is just not my thing. In my opinion, it is just a cheesy way to gather people somewhere (in the good old days birthdays were normally held in homes, but not anymore) and embarrass them to get you gifts.
Even more, one gets invited to too many birthdays. This leaves you in perpetual confusion.
"So, who's birthday is it exactly on Friday?"
"Omar?? Omar who? Oh Rania's Fiancée..!!"
"Remind me again... Who's Rania exactly??"
And it just goes on and on.. and on.
For the sake of argument let us do the math. You have 15 family member (including kids) and 15 friends. Each of your friend on the average have a wife and a kid. By simple math this adds up to a minimum of 60 people. If only two thirds of them decide to celebrate their Birthdays you will end up with 40 Birthdays. That is more than 1 birthday every 10 days (and I am being very conservative with numbers.)

Then comes the issue of the birthday present. Get an expensive present then you are trying to show off. Get a simple present and you are cheap. Or get a gift voucher and then you are plainly lame.
Some people obviously found the ideal solution for this dilemma during my last birthday (for the record: I did not have a birthday party) However, these certain individuals decided to be nice to me anyway. So, I ended up getting 10 very similar gifts. I think by now you all have guessed it.... Right, Picture Frames.
This made me think a little. When someone gets you a picture frame, what is the message this conveys?
We do not know you that well
We had to get you a gift (God knows why..)
We do not really care whether or not you will actually use this present (a remote possibility in the age of digital photography)

However, after my initial mild frustration from getting 10 picture frames for my "special" day. It suddenly hit me. This is the perfect and most brilliant present anyone could get.
For the coming 10 birthdays, I will absolutely need not worry about what to buy as a present. Just give one of the frames. It does not matter if it's a boy or a girl, young or old. A frame would just do it. Especially, if you sneak in and just throw it in the middle of the other gifts without a card or anything that reveals your identity.
Then you'll go home and just imagine the Birthday boy/girl
"Who the hell brought me this Picture Frame??"

We koll sana wento taybeen...

The Kings's Illness

2009-08-24T06:53:00.001-07:00

Another interesting mail that I got from a distant acquaintance:

During the time of the Pharaohs Old Kingdom, it is said that King Khufu fell the victim of a grave illness.
His condition prevented him from eating, sleeping or entertaining his endless reserve of Harem. After lengthy consultations, the wise men of the Kingdom finally figured it out. The king had a disease exclusive to majesties. He was simply, but drastically, bored.
Hard working, low earning people do not have the luxury of getting bored.

Anyway, this is not what my letter is about. My family is facing a very strange and peculiar problem: My wife is the most impatient and easy-to-get-bored person on earth. This is not an exaggeration, she is.
We always eat our meals in room temperature as she cannot wait till late noon to cook. Also, she cannot wait the 2 minutes the microwave needs to heat. My white shirts gained a more or less yellowish colors. "It is such a waste of time to wait for the entire very long cycle to wash the Whites.." She sais.
Our vacations cannot be longer than 3 to 4 days and we go out of any movie after one and half hours whether it is finished or not.
We (more or less), as a family, adapted to this relentless half-cooked lifestyle. However, as a famous philosopher once noted: Since patience, in any case, cannot be depicted every moment in life can then become heavy and tedious. Six or seven months ago, my wife exhausted the last remaining tiny bits of her patience.

So this is what we are left with: Boredom... and a great deal of it too.

My wife is bored. She is bored from me, our kids, our home and the whole damn lot.
We go on a vacation, she cries on the airplane that she wants to get back. We go to a restaurant, the food is 10 minutes late and she insists to leave. Our home is permanent State of Emergency . Kids are severely punished for almost nothing and the squabbles with the cook, the cleaner and the doorman do not seem to end.
To make things worse, her mechanism to fight it all is to sleep. First it was an innocent kind of cuddly doze. Then it ended up by profound and sound sleep through family functions, pool parties, cinemas and clubs.

What started out as a small hole of impatience has turned out into a deep dark well of apathy and boredom. And unfortunately, it is very hard to build a pyramid these days...

On the Wrong Side of Love

2009-05-10T01:48:00.000-07:00

I do not normally get into affairs of the heart :)
But I got this letter from a friend and thought I would share it.

Dear S,
A wise man once said: "women's emotions make them stupid while men's desires is what shuts their brain off."
My problem is exactly that. I am desperately, uncontrollably attracted to the absolutely wrong woman. When I see her my throat gets dry, my mind gets clouded and my nerves tingle. unwillingly, I take an entire imaginary trip to our shared Nirvana.
Then I go back home and my mind gets back into operation.

The subject of my affection is the text book case of an Anti-Seducer. She is the most insecure, self-centred person I have ever met.
Sometimes, I get a chance to catch her eye while I am talking to her. Her blank, oblivious, look is obvious: She is not listening and doesn't have the faintest interest in what I am saying. She is taking the time while I finish my meaningless humming to sort out what she wants to say (whether to me or to someone else for that matter...)

Furthermore, her insecurity leads her into a perpetual journey of deceit and aggression. The only truth that might approach her lips is the truth that serves her purpose.
"Don't tell me that you guys are going to This Place!!! Rania my friend had food poisoning and she stayed for a week in bed after eating there." The reason for this statement as it turns out is that she has other plans for this day. Rania never went to This Place and the last time she had food poisoning was during her last year in School (1998!)
In any setting whomever is not present becomes the target to her sour sarcasm and under-the-belt comments: "Mazen was giving the eye to Hanaa without his wife noticing it. Christine always leaves less money than what she ordered And Heba will not go out with us because her mentor/protege Soha instructing her not to do so..."

Nonetheless, I just sit there gazing at her, mesmerised. To all of her intelligent-lacking comments and her cheap moves, I nod my head like a zombie. Infatuation is such a cruel emotion.
What hurts me the most is that Karen (let us just call her that for the sake of this letter) is so into herself to the extent that she doesn't even notice my manoeuvres to get closer to her. In the midst of taking the utter care of herself and focusing in her trivial pursuits. How can she notice anyone else? How can the subtle ways of romance even approach her full of herself heart?
She is single and will be for a long time, I hope..

Dear S, I do not want you to comment and/or reply. Just writing this letter to you is both my relief and my salvation.
A man in control of himself is better than a man in control of a city, they say.

Good bye Karen. You will never know how unpleasant this was while it lasted...

The Hidden Dangers of Karaoke Singing

2008-12-18T05:52:00.000-08:00

I am quite comfortable with singing: Hardly the statement that a Middle Eastern man would concede to easily. But this is the truth. I have been playing the Piano for as long as I could remember. I do not have an incredible voice but I don't miss the tunes and I always used to sing.
Let me tell you a fool proof way to impress girls:
All throughout my university days, I used to take girls to the music room, play the piano and sing for them. The outcome of this feat, I would like to assure everyone is far more guaranteed than the most fancy romantic dinner.

The least I can say about Miriam is that she was incredible. Damn pretty -of course- with the unique talent of being angelic and naughty at the mean time. She was also a social animal and an amazing singer (of course!)
I spent most of adolescent life dreaming about just a conversation with her. But to my ultimate misfortune, for the known recorded history, Miriam only dated one guy. Yes, you guessed it right: I was not a close rival. Not even in the same league.
While Bassel was taking an active part in maintenance and medical assistance for the Pharaohs Rally. The closest I got to desert and off-roading was the Discovery Channel and Sport Auto magazine.
His dad owned half of Hurghada (including two yachts) while my friends and I took the bus and cramped ourselves in a 3 stars hotel at the utter most. To cut a long story short, it is the same old story. While they were the typical university star couple , I blended in oblivions in the background.

One day, it just happened. Miriam and Bassel broke up. To the present day -nearly 10 years later- the reason behind this break up eludes everyone.
What happened after that was like a dazed dream. An "unplanned" introduction by a mutual friend, casual talks while going back and forth on campus and finally, me gathering my wits to ask for a coffee together. Yes, just like that. One coffee, lead to the other and we were on the right track. Now, when I look back, I realize that these "coffees" were among the very few times in my life where I experienced pure -totally unstained- happiness.

We are all going to Johnny's this Wednesday for Karaoke Night, I told her. Interested?
Yes, sure. She replied.
So that was it, our first night out. It would be a smooth sail from this point onward I assured myself. I will talk to her, she will say yes… Bye bye Bassel… for good.
Got there, everybody was having a good time and she told me let us sing a duet together. The idea pleased me so much. Yeah let us do it.
The song started, she sang brilliantly and then I was up.
Over the following 6 years or so after that, I asked myself a zillion times: What the hell has gone into me that night? I missed the opening, got out of tune, sounded like a mule in labor and then got so nervous and missed the lyrics themselves. An absolute disaster.
Joining back the rest of our crowd, I saw it in her eyes right away: Hesitation.
No way, I kept assuring myself. No one in his right mind would decide the future of a relationship based on a Karaoke Song. She did.
Half an hour later, Miriam said it was getting late and that she had to go home. I never heard of her again, ever.

Ten years, A wife, Two kids and two Porsches later, I still do not sing Karaoke. The reason: No one knows.

The World Falls in Love With Older Women

2008-12-02T15:51:00.000-08:00

It all started out more than a decade ago... Out of nowhere came the very successful series Sex and the City. The idea was really simple but highly appealing. Four single women, all above 30 (actually up to early 40s) living, loving and experimenting with everything in New York.
Telling their stories as well as hers was Sarah Jessica Parker or Carrie Bradshaw. The free spirited writer who tells her story, her friends stories and shares all of her thoughts on men, women and their intricate relationships in the Big Apple.
The series was based on the best selling book by the same name. The witty and sexy actresses and especially the vibrant Kim Cattrall secured the continuation of this series for Six consecutive seasons.
And a movie launched early in 2008.

This started out an entire wave in entertainment: Older Women Power.
All of a sudden, the world seemed to forget all about young talents. No more sloppy love adventures. The world fell unmercifully in the grip of experienced, powerful and capable-of-seducing -any feeble man Divas.
Women were obviously getting more like wine: They only got better with age.
Examples are many, for your viewing pleasure check out these ones:
- Desperate Housewives: Perhaps the most successful TV series in this category. It revolves around 4 middle aged women and their so called household adventures including everything from a quick sexual indiscretion with the young -just out of the gym- gardener to premeditated -cold blooded- murder.
Now 6 seasons down the line, cougars already increased to 6 instead of 4. We just can't get enough of them.
- Cashmere Mafia / Lipstick Jungle: Betting on these previous successes, TV producers got more and more greedy. They started pushing more series of older women on our screens. These are just two more examples for that.
However, it could not hold any longer. Lipstick jungle featuring Brook Shields, and the ultimately hot Lindsay Price season 2 will not be screened. Although some of season 2 episodes are ready. NBC officials first moved the show from prime time TV spot and then cancelled it altogether.
- The Women - the movie: A movie taking it even one step further. The movie starlets are -of course- way past their prime (Meg Ryan and Annette Baning) They occupy the screen for around two hours struggling against an unfair life. But no need to worry, at the end, they manage to pull it altogether. Everything falls in place as long you are sincere and you take matters into your own hands. An idea i as old as they are as matter of fact. The only young actress (Eva Mendez) is shown as a Bimbo who steals Meg Ryan husband and only appears in two scenes. Furthermore, the movie makes sure not to show any male figures all throughout. Come on!!! This is a BIT too much.

So, this is my humble cry to everyone concerned. Khalas, it is over please get back to young girls doing girly things with nice boys. We just had enough of Older Women Power.

Living in Cairo: A Little Tip

2008-12-01T02:11:00.000-08:00

Today, I planned to take my wife to the movies. "We'll run just a quick errand on our way" she said. Being the good husband I am, I conceded. Leaving the building our Bawab approached me.

- Here is you laundry, he said
- Thanks Mohamed
- Aye Khedma ya Basha
I gave him a Pound

We drove to get a quick Birthday present for I don't know whom. Got in the shop, my wife was quick. Gift selected and wrapped. The lady packing the gift gave it to my wife and turned to me with a big smile.
- Koll sana wento taybeen..
I gave her a Pound

Getting out of the parking space, he appeared as usual out of no where.
- Ta3ala, ta3ala, ta3ala... Hop...
I gave him a Pound.

The roll of pounds in my pocket is getting thinner faster than anticipated, I thought.

We got in front of the cinema. Squeezed Calista between two humongous SUV's with customs plates.
We waited and they came. Two guys this time.
- Two pounds ya basha, one of them said
- Ok, when we re leaving, I replied.
- No.. Now, we are not going to wait till midnight, the other replied.
I gave them 2 Pounds

Get me some popcorn honey, I'll go quickly to the toilet.
While I was washing my hands, he appeared right over my shoulder with a small paper tissue in his hand.
- Koll sana wenta tayeb ya basha, he said in a husky voice.
I pushed the soap dispencer twice, rewashed my hands, hoping that he would go away. He didn't.
I gave him a Pound
And another Pound to the placeur (The guy who took you to your seats in the cinema, just in case you didn't know.)

Two hours and one dreadful movie later, getting out of the parking I spotted him running towards us from the very end of the road.
- Aywaaaa, Aywaaaa!!
The roll of Pounds in pocket finished. I just drove off.
I saw him in my rear view mirror curling his lips, weaving his hands in the air and heard him
- Bahwat Akher Zaman Sahih, Ekhss...!!!

The Azazel Book Discussion: In The Beginning There Was Man

2008-11-11T14:21:00.000-08:00

As I admitted previously, when I first read Azazel, I was not really sure how to feel. Growing up I was constantly injected with ideas totally the opposite of what Azael suggested.
- The Coptic population was under oppression all the time. Anything to the opposite was not even remotely discussed.
- Arius and Nestorius were two heretics that nearly destroyed the entire Christian faith if it wasn't for the bold resistance that the church made and so forth....

In our history school books, the period of Christian Coptic Egypt is totally ignored. Furthermore, the history told by the Church itself, under the best circumstances, is biased and ambiguous.

However, this is not what it is all about or what matters most.
Azael is not just about history and finding the truth.
The book (and then the discussion) is a rare invitation to think and question. Unfortunately a feat perceived by many as a heresy/crime in itself these days.

Three Major points really arose my interest during the discussion:
1) Everything Changes and Humanity Remains:
The same people who built the Pyramids are the same people who embraced Christianity are the same people who built El Azhar to enlighten the entire Moslem world. Civilization, religions, perceptions of religions and world orders. Everything changes but humanity remained.
2) We are still dwelling in past and ancient ideas when the future is ahead of us: We as Middle Easterns have the rare gift of dwelling ruthlessly over the past. We are very good in remembering selectively and fighting futile battles over issues that perhaps mattered 1400 to 2000 years ago. The world has moved on. It is really simple: No one should kill in the name of religion, no one should judge and condemn in the name of religion and No one should rule and own in the name of religion. All throughout history this model failed. Today is no different.
3) Discussions, Ideas and Taboos is our country: Why are we (Egyptians) always so on the edge? We cannot, in the most part, stand discussion and debate? Especially when it comes to religion. Actually, as Youssef Zeidan said during the discussion. We cannot tolerate anything even ourselves!!!
As said in the old play Bel 3araby El Faseeh: We cannot discuss politics, religion, race, sex or football. What has happened to us?

Anyway, the discussion was fabulous in every respect. IT IS the time for change. This could be very well the start...

The Road, The Machine and Literature (2): The Great Gatsby

2008-11-11T14:14:00.000-08:00

"No one really knew who Gatsby was"

F. Scott Fitzgerald can hardly be identified as a "Road" writer. Almost all of his works were dedicated to account for the Post World War I America. The period identified by Fitzgerald himself as the "Jazz Age." After the Great War, the States experienced an unprecedented era of economic prosperity and growth. An entire social class of newly rich families appeared and indulgence in luxury became a trend. This was further accompanied by the total dominance of material pleasures as well as disregard of morals and values. This is precisely what The Great Gatsby is all about.

In 1922, Long Island (NY) was divided into two distinct parts: West Egg where all the New Rich lived and East Egg where the Old Aristocracy resided. A young man, graduate of Yale, called Nick comes to live in West Egg. His next door neighbour is an incredible mansion belonging to a mysterious millionaire called Jay Gatsby. The other side of the bay, in East Egg, is the house of his second cousin Daisy Buchanan. Daisy is married to Tom but their marriage is in trouble. Tom is short tempered and a brut. Anyway, Nick knows that Tom has an affair with Myrtle Wilson the wife of a mechanic whose home and workshop are on the road from East Egg to New York City. In his vast Gothic house, Gatsby throws lavish parties each weekend. One day, Nick gets invited to one of those parties and he ends up meeting Gatsby himself who turns out to be quite young, charming but mysterious at the same time. As time goes by, Nick and J. Gatsby become friends and Jay confides into Nick that he used to love his second cousin Daisy. Also, he asks him to arrange a meeting between them. Nick agrees. The reunion starts awkward but ends up in reviving the relationship between Daisy and Gatsby. The story goes on till Tom realises the affair and a tragic end is then inevitable of course.

The story, as mentioned earlier, is not a road story. However, all throughout, the characters are driving from their Long Island homes to New York City (and back certainly.) A lot of the key events happen during these short trips. Tom introduces his mistress to Nick in a drive to the city. Gatsby starts approaching Nick regarding Daisy in also a similar trip. A major sign of Gatsby's wealth is a Yellow "Beautiful" Roadster. Ultimately, the key event of the novel is a car accident that occurs to the Yellow Roadster while Daisy is driving it.

It was just 1922 and cars were relatively new to the society. Fitzgerald meant for this new sign of modern life to play an integral part of his chronicles for this age.

For more about the Novel: http://www.sparknotes.com/lit/gatsby

For the full Novel: http://etext.library.adelaide.edu.au/f/fitzgerald/f_scott/gatsby/

The Road, the Machine and Literature (1)

2008-10-05T06:57:00.000-07:00

Keeping my promise to the CBC Core Team (and being a fanatic cars enthusiast), I started to research the role that automobiles played in literature. Inevitably, my search took me into a broader spectrum: The literature, of all sorts, written linking together road, man and machine.

Whether or not we are actually on a road, life remains a fascinating journey. However, in an actual car or motorcycle this journey becomes much more exciting.
Literature related to journeys and travels has been there since ever .
The first examples that could come into ones mind are Homers Iliad and Odyssey. Although it does not qualify as a "normal" road trip however the Odyssey might be the first solid example of Journey Literature. The epic poem mainly describes the 10 years trip that Odysseus embarks on to reach his hometown Ithaca after the Trojan Wars. At the mean time his wife Penelope and his son Telemachus have to fight all the suitors that attempt to approach the beautiful queen. Everybody believes that Odysseus is dead except for Penelope. To escape his suitors without much confrontation she promises them she will choose among them upon finishing sewing a pullover. All through the day she worked on it and all through the night she undone her daily work. The ten years just passed like that!
For the full text of the Odyssey: http://www.mythweb.com/odyssey/

Very informally and without any organization or methodology, I decided to discover more authors and novels all related to Journeys, Roads and Cars/other means of transport. Some will readily come to mind like "On the Road" by Jack Kerouac and for others the connection will be more obscure like the Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald.

I will leave the pavement and embark on my own journey and I hope you guys enjoy..

The Latest Sports Scoop: The Mubaraks' Falcons are Ready

2008-09-13T06:25:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm not a big fan of Egyptian Papers. However, for some ambiguous reason, I bought Akhbar El Youm today. Scheming between the old, silly and plain lies articles I reached the Sports Section in the enormous 4 parts paper. The Head Title in the Sports section read as "THE FALCONS ARE READY FOR THE CONFRONTATION"
The first thing that came into my mind is that Hassan Shehata, also for some ambiguous reason, decided to change the name of the National Egyptian Football Team from the Pharaohs to the Falcons. I turned in the pages to find the article and confronted the ultimate shock.
In an article spanning a Full Half Page was an in depth analysis and latest news of the Ramadan Football Tournament in which Alaa and Gamal Mubarak are playing. The Falcons turned out to be nothing but the name of the Mubaraks Team. This "International" tournament is taking place in the prestigious Stadium of Palm Hills. Also, this event is obviously arousing the interest of approximately 5 people (the entire line-up of the Falcons), the editor as well as mom and dad Mubarak of course. Hence was the extensive coverage in the so-called "National" Paper.
Seeing this, I decided to take part in this unprecedented interest in popular sports and Ramadan Tournaments. My son Ferry (4 years old) is taking part in the Bowling tournament of his school. Also, I am playing Tennis in the prestigious El Shams Club Open Ramadan T. Accordingly, I will send our photos to Akhbar El Youm accompanied with some "Kofta" comments and see what happen. Our photos, I assure everybody, will be a lot nicer than the huge published photos of the two Mubarak brothers pursuing their Football endeavours.
In a country devastated by Inflation (25%), Illiteracy (50%+) and hundreds still buried in Dweika, The Mubaraks took a stand: They played football in Palm Hills.
Thank you,
Over and Out
From the Pavement - Mafroos
Samih

In Hiding

2008-09-10T04:15:00.000-07:00

Inside me are so many things. Feelings, ideas and desires are constantly brewing. Under the stern surface of my being, destructive currents are raging. How can I want so many things I do not have the right to? How do I crave to enjoy so many guilty pleasures? I do not know. One thing I know however, I do not want to fight it. Without remorse I just bury deep deep inside any sign of guilt; a smile on my face.

We go on about our lives pretending. Nothing is really the way it seems. We hide the monster with a sheepish look and fake virtue with cheap courtesy.
Lust is killing me but I don't have the right to even blink.
Crave but do not look, look but do not touch, touch but do not taste,... I curse civilization, morals and society common ways.

I hope no one blames me for this. But from time to time, I will release the wolf to get out for a big feast .

Today Veena Died

2008-08-25T01:51:00.000-07:00

More than 7,500 people die on Egyptian Roads Every day. We are all used to read such figures and news in the papers.

Today my friend Veena became a number in this dark and cold statistic.

At 34 years old, on Ein Sokhna Road, on a normal Friday Veena died when her car crashed and burned.

We all have so many circles of Friends: Close friends, distant friends, business colleagues and all sorts of acquaintances/relatives. I knew Veena for around 15 years. She was my sister's best friend, at one point, and has been always in my "Gray" friendship area. Up to her marriage, 5 years ago, Veena used to through a Pre-Christmas party. So, for 10 years I got invited to this event. Her close friends helped in preparing the food. Her "gray" friends were supposed to bring small gifts and everyone was supposed to exchange gifts with everyone else in the spirit of the Christmas season. In all due honesty, I never helped with food and never got gifts. However, there was no need to worry. Every year for careless outcasts like me, there was a bag of gifts that Veena prepared. Where we got our small presents and took also some to give to others.

My grandmother used to say that is one of God's blessings that we forget our departed beloved ones. Farid, Veena's son, is only 4. He does not know his loss. He will not just grow-up without the only person who will love him unconditionally; he will grow-up without the memory. How could this be a blessing?

By pure coincidence, I have met Veena less than 24 hours before she passes away. She was leaving a restaurant at the same moment I was getting in. We just bumped into each other. In a very short, common conversation, she told me that she was going through a rough patch with no further details. I told her to hang on without providing any real support. I do not feel bad about it. We shall meet again eventually. This is the only solid fact in our life.

From the pavement – Very Sad

Samih

More Hassan and Morcos

2008-07-12T03:02:00.000-07:00

Yes the movie is not that good. Yet the subjects it deals with are becoming further and further an interest to everyone.
I ate my pop corn, watched the simple minded script and listened to the direct conversations of Adel Imam and Nour El Sherif. This doesn't really matter. What matters is that I remembered. I remembered how throughout my childhood and university days the issue of religion was handled so simply with no sensitivities, clinched fists and huge anger (from both sides...)
I remember that our neighbor had 2. Then she got pregnant. Although a devote Muslim she took upon herself to fast 3 days every year for Virgin Mary if she gets a girl. Now Riham is a Physician, married with 2 children and her mom is still fasting.
The first day of every Ramadan, I used to pass by my Grand Parents neighbor. Guedo Ismail used to give money to all the kids in the building on the first day of Ramadan every year (the reason he gave us the money of the first day of Ramadan and not during the Feast still is unknown till this day.) I did not live in the building. I got the money nonetheless.
And a million more example, I can remember; as I m certain that most of us do.
I always believed that we Egyptians were the happiest people on earth. While everyone else was only celebrating a certain set of holidays and vacations, we had double of everything. Egypt is the only country on this planet that celebrates two new years eves, 4 big holidays (Iftar Feast, Christmas, El Adha Feast and Easter) and Sham El Nesim that is a purely Egyptian invention.
I am Egyptian living in Cairo. I've been raised in Heliopolis and happen to be Christian.
This is what the movie is all about...

A Little Tale of Non-Fiction (1)

2008-06-26T15:02:00.000-07:00

Are you bored of Love Stories and Thrillers?
After a long day's work, you find it very hard to grasp a piece of "Heavy" Literature yet you believe you deserve more than Harry Potter?

May be you should try to give it a go with a non-fiction book.

There are a lot of advantages to non-fiction over fiction books; especially, in our contemporary life style. A non-fiction does not require commitment as a novel for example. It is normally divided into more or less individual chapters or at least subject matter. So the reader might read till a certain section then stops till he feels like resuming. (I tried this once while reading Lord of the Rings. Then when I tried to get back to reading a month later it was an absolute nightmare. I did not know who's who, lost the story line and had to retract a 100 pages or so just to get back on line again...)

Furthermore, a good non-fiction will probably, actually, add concrete pieces of knowledge to its reader.

Anyway, this mini-series is really based on nothing except some very limited readings I had over the last couple of years of a few of those authors and books. Here we go...

Bill Bryson:

One of the most loved writers for in the last part of the 20th Century. He was born in the States in 1951, in a little city in the state of Iowa.
His first travel book starts with just that "I come from Des Moines. Somebody had to."

Bryson dropped out of University to Backpack travel in Europe. These travels later on became the source of his first travel book "Neither Here Nor There"
In 1973, he got a job in England and met his wife. They got married and lived in the UK till 1995.
Up till 1987, Bryson was working mainly as a journalist (The Times and The Independent) and then started writing independently. He moved back and forth from The States to The UK and is now living in Norfolk, UK.

Perhaps the Most known work of Bryson is a "Short History of Nearly Everything." This Rough guide to Science is full of Humor in addition to some very important scientific facts. It is not just about science and scientific status. It also contains a whole lot of exciting information about the lives of many scientists, their backgrounds and often funny beginnings (or endings.) For example, we learn that Hubble (Famous Astronomer who gave his name to the Hubble Telescope) was not on very good terms with his wife. After his death, she took his body and buried it in an unknown place. No one knows where Hubble is buried till today. Or, something like: On the average everyday an American ends up dead by drowning in his own bathtub. The book goes on and on. It is one of the few books that I read may be for three times.
The book won the prestigious Aventis Award in 2004.

Bryson wrote 3 books on the English Language "Mother Tongue", "Made in America" and "Bryson's Dictionary of Troublesome Words." These works were also greatly popular though criticized by academic critics for some of their mythical/misguided facts.

Currently, I'm reading two of his works. "Shakespeare: The World is a Stage."
In this small book, an attempt is made to shed some light on the very mysterious personal life of perhaps the greatest author in the English Language; although some very little facts are known about his life. "We do not know if he ever left England. We do not know who were his principal companions were or how he amused himself... On only a handful of days in his life can we say with absolute certainty where he was... For the rest, he is a kind of literary equivalent of an electron - forever there and not there."

The other book is "The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid."
In this book, Bryson is making a very witty account of his years as a child growing up in the America in the 1950's.
"By 1951, when I came sliding down the chute, almost 90 per cent of the American families had refrigerators, and nearly three quarters had washing machines, telephones, vacuum cleaners and gas or electric stoves - things that most of the world could still only fantasize about... In early December, his wife (referring to Bryson's mom) went into Mercy hospital and with very little fuss gave birth to a baby boy: their third child, second son, first superhero."

In short, it is all in the way it is told. Any subject tackled by Bill Bryson becomes humorous, witty and exciting. He is the kind of writer, I would have dreamed of becoming. I became a construction engineer instead. Well, no one said that this world is fair after all...

On The Second Time (Part 1)

2008-06-14T00:41:00.000-07:00

(1)

Even Police Stations look different in Heliopolis; so clean and so much light. I tried to remember what time it was. I could not tell for sure. The last time I looked, it was 8:30 pm. But it seemd like it has been such a long time since then. I just got through the station front door and was practically dragged by anonymous strong arms. To where? I could not tell. We were moving quickly and a lot of people surrounded me, all talking at the same time. I understood every word they said but did not make anything out of it. My mouth kept on a monotonous murmur: It was not my fault; it was not my fault…

Finishing school was never really a viable option for me. Just passing my third preparatory year (at 17), my father sent me to take care of the Family Kiosk in Heliopolis. A prestigious, well paid job that made me the envy of almost every guy my age, and the desire of a lot of girls, in our desolate alley situated deep inside Imbaba. My day was fairly simple, I would take a Microbus everyday from Courniche to Heliopolis, open up to customers at around 9:30am and close at 9:30pm. Almost all my clients were regulars. The school kids from the private primary near by, people from the neighberhood and regular pass buyers consituted my day for almost two years. "You should start looking for a wife." El Hagga said. "It is still to early" I replied and thought to myself "Why stick to one when you can have a lot." I smiled sheepishely.

- I have never seen a similar car, wow... My friend Ahmed said. I tilted my head a little bit and he was right. An amazing big black 4x4 just pulled in font of us.

The electric window opened up and the man inside asked for a pack of cigarettes. I got what he wanted and put it on the selling board in front of me. Without even looking at me, and without getting out of his shining car, I saw him getting out the money of his pocket, stretching his hand to me.

Some people think they own this world. Even more, they think they own us with it; as an irrelevant bonus. I make less than 50 piasters profit per pack of cigarettes. If this moron thinks I'll leave my chair to serve him he is gravely mistaken. I continued my imaginary phone converstation.

- A pack of Lights please. I heard him say.

- .... So, Ahmed you said that the goods will be a little late. I went on my fake phone converstaion.

Incrudelously, he got out of his 4x4. He slammed the door, went all around the huge vehicle and gave me a 10 pounds note.

- We don't have change. I said. Do you have 50 P.

He gave me 50P. Grabbed the pack and was gone in less than a second. I despised him so much. I hated him, his smell and his car. No one owns me.

(2)

There is a king in everyone of us. I smiled to myself. Even this little bugger in this wretched Kiosk thinks that he is better than to pass me a pack of cigarette.

He does not look at me and even fakes a phone conversation just to avoid moving his.... and does his job. Egypt will never be a respectable country as long as these lazy worms live in it.

Everyone sees the new Chevrolet Blazer, dad got from Saudi when he came back, thinks that we got in bed with a Saudi Prince or something.

Twenty seven years of hard labor, twenty seven years away from his family and for what?? A small appartment in Helipolis, the big 4x4 and a small sum at the bank. Small business men in Egypt make more in a year then what he wasted his life upon. I puffed loudly the smoke of my cigarette.

At the Movies: More NOT to See Movies

2008-04-04T06:37:00.000-07:00

It took me some time to get out this second part of the NOT to See Movies, however, beware the following comments may contain spoilers. So if you are willing to take the risk and watch these movies do not read any further.

Vantage Point:
8 People and 8 point of views. This is what the trailer sais and man isn't it true!! The movie revolves around a main incident that takes only around 20 minutes. Then the movie repeats it for 8 times!!! It is true that the incident involves the assassination of the US president but come on how much Drama can one put in a 20 minute story?? No matter how you look at it...The movie is action packed but again with some serious flaws in the story line. Till the end a lot of the "twists" do not make any sense. The movie then ends with a pure coincidence that saves the US president. So, the civilized world can sleep in peace... The day is saved.

PS I love you:
She has played the role of a Lesbian and a Boxer very successfully. Then to everyone's amazement Hilary Swank takes a U Turn and decides to take on a romantic comedy. I am not convinced. The movie is essentially barely OK. Hilary's young husband dies after a short struggle with illness. Nonetheless, he leaves to his devastated wife a series of letters to help through the first year of grief. To some this might sound very romantic. To me the movie was a little too cheesy. All throughout the movie, one thought keeps going back and forth in my mind. Was it better to leave the widowed wife to face her grief and moves on?? Or leaving her a series of letters that served mainly to remind her of her loss??

Rendition:
Everyone seems to be making movies discussing Terrorism and the Middle East these days. Well, this is one of these movies. Reese Witherspoon is an American Pregnant wife. For no good reason her husband is kidnapped by the CIA during the course of a bomb explosion investigation. The explosion took place in a North African Country and kills many including an American officer. It is illegal to keep an American (even from Egyptian origins) for no good cause. To avoid this, the CIA transport the accused to the North African country (where there is presumably no law) to keep, question and torture the poor innocent guy. The movie runs two parallel stories in different times. This is a bit confusing but OK (even if I missed the point of the second story.) The second story is about the daughter of the Arab Chief of Police whom his daughter loves the terrorist who plants the bomb to kill her father!!! A typical Middle Eastern Melodrama!!!

These are the movies and this is my opinion and as I said in the beginning. You can watch whatever you like at your own risk.

From The Pavement
Samih

At the Movies: The Must NOT See List

2008-03-23T02:34:00.000-07:00

For the last couple of months, I decided to waste my spare time. Instead of doing anything useful like reading , writing, doing any activities or sports I went to the movies instead. Admittedly, it was a colossal waste …
Anyway, here is a list of the movies I saw and that I WOULD NOT ADVICE anyone to see ever, not in Cinemas, DVD's (even if you decide to buy the cheap 10 LE ones) or Showtime (even if you have the stolen decoded card)

One Missed Call:
This is the only movie that I know of recently that scored Zero in all reviews. It is perhaps one of the worst movies that I got to watch. The plot is very simple: A girl dies. After her death, her friend receives a Multimedia message. On this message, it is recorded the sound of this friend dying. The time of this message will be the time when this friend dies. When the moment comes, she dies. Another friend receives a similar message and the whole thing is repeated again. A handsome investigator gets of course involved with the girl who finally escapes it all. There is a simple twist and a reason written by a 10 year old behind the 5 or 6 deaths of course. The only good thing about this movie that it is very short, less than 1.5 hrs.

Jumper:
Another Super Hero movie, but this time without a super hero. The leading character of this movie has the unique ability to JUMP from one place to other. However, he does not use his POWERS for any common good. He just Jumps around, steals money and travels to different exotic destinations for the fun of it. Things cannot be left at that certainly. There is another group, that for religious reasons, hunts downs all Jumpers and kills them, our guy included of course. One thing leads to the other and the movie ends with a huge twist: The leader of the hunters is the Jumper Mom. The movie then terminates abruptly leaving you waiting for Part II. Not Me certainly…

Golden Compass:
If you are craving for a cheap copy of the Chronicles of Narnia this might be the one for you. Nicole Kidman plays the villain. But obviously she had some stomach problems and constipation during shooting. A lot of things from the original book are missing leaving the storyline with a lot of holes. After 2 hours, nothing much happens and the whole things terminates with a dialogue preparing you again for Part II. The one part movies are getting out of Fashion for the Major Studios that's for sure.
One good idea in the movies though is that every character is accompanied by an animal. This animal reflects this character's personality.
Then I imagined Egypt, 80 million people and 80 million accompanying animals. That would be a sight… and what would be these animals?? That another story.

Wait for us in Part II and more Not to See movies. In our next episode: Rendition, Vantage Point and more…

I'm Bored..

2007-12-12T01:22:00.000-08:00

I'm bored and I thought everyone should know it.
"What's new to that?" you'll say to yourself, "Aren't we all??"
I'm bored of driving everyday to work. I'm bored of traffic, people not paying attention to where they are going or where I am. Microbuses playing an endless death match and racing an unseen enemy.

I'm bored of TV and movies. For some reason, the world just ran out of ideas. Egyptian films however unlike their American counterparts are both poor in content as well as production.

I'm bored of attending weddings. All the ceremonies are the same, the bride and groom dance, their friends join in. Elder people are, sitting by, nodding with their heads and I don't know if it's of admiration or discontent. Then if you are patient enough you just might be able to grab a bite to eat in the midst of the jam of it all.

I'm bored of meeting my ex-girlfriends by coincidence and I'm bored of my wife getting mad at me for it. No one can own your past. They either own your present or your future. Needless to say your wife owns both.

I'm bored of Christmas. Each year Christmas comes at the same time. They play the same carols and I buy the same things. I'm bored of people telling me that Christmas is not solely for shopping it is a time to cherish with family, to reflect , to love,…
Every year the same Christmas and every year the same words. Has anyone ever thought that may be Christmas is for shopping, partying and having a good time and that's it? Just like Ramadan when everyone insists that it is for praying, supporting the poor and getting closer to God. However, it ends up in a frenzy of TV series and shisha outings…
Do we have to connect our festivities to something bigger than us? And use that as an excuse to take a vacation and have a good time?
Can't we just have the National day for "Eat as much as you can" or the "Sinai vacation Weekend or something?" And embrace our human nature.

Samih
Sitting on the Pavement…. Bored

Cairo: The Last Days (Part 2)

2007-11-21T05:32:00.000-08:00

Well, if they think they can easily shove me out and forget about it definitely they should think again.

I have been with the National Front since the very start. True the Front existed since the 1940's, but I'm referring to their late resurrection during the late 1980's and 1990's. My name is Amin Tolba and I'm one of the so called "New Generation Steers." or as sometimes referred to as the Guidance Office New Guard.
While other groups chose the way of direct violence to create turmoil and attempt to get to power, I was absolutely against it.
"My brothers, shooting a president or tourists or putting a few bombs in Tahrir Square is not the way that will get us to rule this country. Hear out my plan." And They did…
By the early 2000's, the Front had infiltrated and had some or total degree of control on almost everything in Egypt: University student Bodies, Professional Syndicates (engineers, doctors, lawyers,…), Government Ministries, National TV/Radio, Judges Union,… You name it. We were every where. Ultimately, this lead us to power in 2011.

I walked out of my little sorry room in Arish. I saw a glimpse of my own reflection on the door stained glass window and I wondered. The young man who used to walk in demonstrations in his neat dark green coveralls and black mask is now long gone. All what remains is an old fat and bald sort of a soldier, stumbling in his pale green army suit, drenched in sweat.
I gave my life to the Front. Once they got in power, I was completely forgotten. Instead of giving me a ministry or a public company or something where I can get to spend the rest of my days in ease and peace, The Head Steer called me: "Brother Amin, we have bestowed on you our great confidence. We appoint you the Head of Security in Northern Sinai."
I can nearly see him this Son of B… sitting at the old Royal Palace and laughing with the other bastard Ahmed Ammar, my so called friend and comrade and the new Minister of Petrol and Energy. He has his own airplane I was told. All I have is an Army Jeep and the Sinai Bedouins shooting at me and my men almost every night.

The Front rise to power was too easy, almost inevitable. All the lethal elements were there: An aging dictatorship, a very poor country (the UN officials calling it the Mediterranean Bangladesh) and people drowning in ignorance, sickness and despair.
"The Front is the Solution and We Will Change the Constitution." Our slogan was like a drug to the masses. Most of them did not even know what constitution meant.
Everyone wanted to change the status quo and We seemed like a viable choice at a time, especially for the unknowing majority. A religious group who got out of his way and got into politics; speaking in the name of God and promising a better life in this world and heaven thereafter. Nothing could beat this deal…
What the common man did not know is that religion and politics do not mix. Or to say the least they do not mix well. Just like heaven and earth, could these two mix?
Politics has nothing -and never had anything- to do with religion. The only religion politics know is the religion of power and the faith of using all the means possible to obtain it and preserve it.

It was may be 7pm on this early October night when I took off with my Jeep. I was only accompanied by my young right hand guy Mahmoud. I've been arranging and anticipating this meeting for may be 8 or 9 months now. We drove for like 2 hours towards the heart of Sinai and into its high mountains. The unpaved road twisted endlessly up and down till we finally reached the specific GPS point. Our rendezvous were already there.
"My name doesn't really matter, I am here representing the Kingdom and some of its friends. The Front regime has gotten absolutely out of hand and I believe that it is up to us now to put things right." Said the man with the dark blue jeans and khaki sweater. He was in his early 40's and obviously the boss of the party meeting us.
Before, I could reply by anything, he opened a suitcase stacked with Dollar Bills. "This will help you to insure the allegiance of the Bedouins and most of your men." He added smiling.
"We shall arrange for the triggering event in Cairo. Also, I'm coordinating with Nabil Fawzy Militias from Upper Egypt." I responded "Everything will go as planned!"
We shook hands and he walked towards his car. Then he looked back "Also, a continuous supply of ammo and weapons will be secured through our contacts in Elate." He drove away.

"This is the time. This is the place. We have to make a stand. We have to give in to the will of God. It is His will that we should put an end to the Tyranny that is eating our country. Our lives are worth nothing. We give it happily to restore the rule of Allah…"
The entire camp roared with enthusiasm.
I put on my ultimate serious face and the thought lingered in my mind: Does anyone sincerely believe this nonsense?
How could they believe that any God -if one really existed- would let or allow thousands may be even millions to die in his name??

Cairo: The Last Days (Part 1)

2007-11-17T09:19:00.000-08:00

Part 1:

June 17, 2015:
I got stopped again today at a security check point. The soldier who stopped me was merely a boy in his 17, 18 at the most. His beard hair was no more than pale patches here and there on his face. But, The old desert green uniform and his Afghani soft wool hat gave him a menacing look.
"ID,.." he said averting looking at me directly. He checked the ID and looked at me quickly. "Hide you hair woman!" he said harshly while handing me back the document. Hastily, my hand ran to push the fallen hair lock under the veil and I walked away as fast as I could.
Since, the last couple of explosions down town, security measures have been very tight. Even here in Heliopolis (Haii El Safa, they now call it) there is practically a check point on the corner of every major street.
Tarek came back very late from work. His pipes manufacturing business has been doing very good lately. However, his problems also increased dramatically. He always shared some work details with me.
"I'm practically paying everyone I deal with", he said, disgusted, during supper. "The labors' office, the social insurance, taxes, local authorities,.." are all on my private payroll. "I'm doing all the work and everyone else is getting the profit…"
Tomorrow, I'll go to visit mom. She moved very far at the very end of Nasr City. Now, with the new, unwritten, law preventing women from driving. I'm only left to the wretched Microbus to take me there.

July 10, 2015:
I am so bored.
Tarek spends most of his day at work and I'm left trapped here at the house. It is true I never really worked since I got married 15 years ago but in the old days there was so much to do. Even on an absolutely empty day, I could still read the papers, watch TV or even sometimes surf the net. Now, I'm a little bit living in a closed sphere. Since the National Front came to power 4 years ago, they have been bit by bit restricting our exposure to the outside world. It all started with the very strict law against satellite dishes and cable networks.
"They only undermine our faith, promote imperialism and show sex and nudity films and series," The Guidance Office announced. An ultimatum of 2 days was given to get rid of all dishes. These who did not respond got a 20,000 LE fine and 20 lashes.
So, I'm left stuck with 2 TV channels that only talk about the after life and a paper that has the unique job of promoting the Guidance Office ruling members and mentioning every day some fake facts about how Egypt is the greatest country on earth…

July 28, 2015:
I got a letter from Adham today. It was dated June 15, 2015. Well, it did not take that long. I heard from some friends that it takes at least a month for a letter to get through the huge pile up at the Central censorship office. It was his words but the hand writing was of a grown up person…
It has been now almost a one and half years since we sent Adham to his Aunt.
"Schools here are crap. Besides, he will get a chance to see the world. Do you remember the World honey?"
Adham is only 12. At 12, a kid should be with his mom. I put the letter in my closet drawer and cried.

Three years ago, I was so mad when I noticed the surge of people and businesses, local and foreign, leaving Egypt.
"Nothing has changed." I used to say to my friends. "They can never be more corrupt than their predecessors!" "At least, this government was chosen by the people. They are men of faith as well as politicians." I used to repeat this over and over.
Tarek, on the other hand, had more insight.
Once the old government was overthrown, my step sister who she and her family happened to have Italian Passports, left the country almost immediately.
"We have too much at stack here and as you said nothing Really has changed." Said Tarek to me.
However, I noticed that little by little he is shrinking his business and reducing his "heavy" belongings. He sold his office and worked from the factory. He sold his parents house and an empty lot of land he owned. He even tried to sell our little house in Marina. I was so against it and even cried hard to dissuade him. I wish I hadn't. Now, Marina is a ghost city and the house is worth nothing...

An Ending without Closure

2007-11-08T05:08:00.000-08:00

Tarek woke up with an unusual uneasy feeling deep inside. He has been going out with Touta for 6 months now. And it all seemed like a dream. He loved her from afar for years. Now that they are together he couldn't help but to love her even more. For the past few weeks however, the ride got a little bit tough. Nothing out of the unusual. After, the initial "I love you just the way you are" phase, it is normal for the gears to grind against each other. He was just hoping that this period will be shorter that longer.
After, a more than mild argument, there was no contact for a couple of days. Then Just yesterday, Tarek has called touta. But he could not get through to her. She was not at home and did not call back.
"I'll call her again today" he said to himself.
"She's in the bathroom, she'll call you once she gets out" came the dry answer from the maid.
She never called.
Now, 10 years, a wife and a kid later; Tarek still feels a squeeze in his heart when he remembers this story.

We all passed through this situation in one format or the other. It might be at work, with friends or even within our family. However, I believe that a love ending so abruptly and inconclusively is perhaps the most painful. (That is unless you have a beloved one in the army and is Lost in Action somewhere.)
Each story has to have a solid end. We were brought up this way. A sports match has a result, an essay has a conclusion, even some of Youssef Shahin movies have a well defined end and a love affair must have a closure.
Just imagine this, you go out with the boy/girl of your dreams on a first date. Everything goes perfectly well and then you never hear from him/her again. This open finish is unacceptable for most. The obvious reason is "why?", "what went wrong?", "Don't I deserve an explanation?" a couple of words on the phone, sms or even an email or a message on Facebook??
Relationships come to an end all the time but they don't just vanish into thin air for no reason.

Well, Actually they do and the more serious and long term the relationship is the most prone to sudden and inexplicable failure it is.
The most prominent reason of the Break-up in a serious relationship is nothing!! In the famous book "Drifting Marriage", it is concluded that around 70% of marriages (and this can be expanded to all long term commitments) end for no specific or major cause. By time, under the pressures of life and by accumulation of minor squabbles people just drift apart. From lovers, to roommates to strangers. One of them then just walks a way.
As put very simply by 12 years old Dina: "One day my dad left home."

I think that there is nothing more painful than a story -whatever this story might be- without closure. At this instance, one is left empty and lost. He has so many words left unspoken. His mind and emotions are trapped within the merciless walls of "what if's" endless possibilities and his heart is stalled lingering on a deserted trail.

At the Movies: El Shayateen..

2007-11-01T05:57:00.000-07:00

Since I was a little kid, I was a big fan of the El Shayateen El 13 (The 13 devils) novels.
It was a series of books intended for youngsters in which a group of young Arab adventurers fight evil under the leadership of a mystery man called Mr. Zero.
Each one of them belonged to a different Arab country and used a code number besides his name. No. 1 was Ahmed from Egypt.

The movie full name is called El Shayateem, the Comeback.
Hence it is about the return of a reluctant Ahmed for a new adventure; after what appears as a failed mission that took place 20 years ago.
This time the fight is against a vicious Antiquities smuggling gang. The movie contains a couple of nice twists and is entertaining as a whole. Especially bearing in mind that the this is the first full feature for a young director/scenario writer.

The movie starts with the wrong assumption that everybody has a back ground of the original stories. This left 90% of the audience quite clueless for perhaps the first 15 minutes. Then another slow half hour was lost watching Ahmed attempting to gather up his team as well as bits and pieces of the conspiracy at hand.
The movie picks up some pace after that when the action begins. Although, in my opinion, a specialist in action sequences was badly needed. Too much hand held camera and fast camera motion do not necessarily mean suspense and action!! The film music was basically a series of 1970's motives, a little bit more effort and tunes were also needed there.
All the girls in the movie seem to like Ahmed but nothing materializes; as he is too preoccupied in his current mission as well as full of remorse over the last adventure that went bad a long time ago.

So after 2 hours, all the bad guys are neutralized except for their leader who escapes in anticipation of a sequel.
Do not hold your breath though, I do not think this sequel will see the light any time soon.

Facebook is for Dorks!

2007-10-03T04:33:00.000-07:00

Dork (dawrk) : An offensive term that deliberately insults somebody's intelligence, physical appearance or social skills (slang insult)

According to an article in Fortune magazine, "anyone who is over 25 years old and has an account on Facebook is a dork"
When I first read this I was a little bit offended. I am way over 25. I have a Facebook account. And for all that it is worth, I do not see myself as a Dork!!
Then I decided to read the article a little bit further. "Let's see what this guy has to say anyway"!
I summarized the article content in a few points -Dialogue like- here below
- Joining a social network is cool.
- Ok, and then??

- It allows you to catch up with old friends
- If they were really your friends you would have their contacts. If you do not have their contacts may be they were not your friends to start with.

- So who should I add to be my friends on Facebook? I'm already in close contact with my friends and My colleagues at work. So, should I add my distant friends, acquaintances and business contacts perhaps? And let them see my status and personal photos?
- ….
After using Facebook for sometime now, I somehow agree with the article. In my opinion, the social site is more of a hype without any real added value. May be for a younger generation, it would be a nice flirting tool but that is it.
Just ask yourself, when you first started out on Face how often you used to check it? How often do you use it now?
I used to get posts, invitations, mails,… all the time. Now, the frequency is far less. Basically, it is a very few bunch that is constantly adding applications or joining groups and sending them to their entire list without any real "personal" content.

And this is all I have to say about that :))

M&H

2007-10-02T05:27:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, we get struck by the most unusual facts in the most unexpected times. I always thought I knew what I wanted. May be not in so many details but a rough sketch has been always there in my mind.
Till I met you.

An absolute revelation struck me. It had nothing to do with your beauty, style or finesse although you have loads of all of these. However, I have passed my years and I have learned my lessons to overcome these minor attractions.
I said to myself: She is just a pretty face. Then you turned around and you spoke to me. I cannot remember the last time I had a conversation with such an intelligent person.
Intelligent women drive me crazy.

You talked about yourself and you talked about your family. For no reason, but within the constraints of our limited minded society, you decided to share with me some of your life. I learned about your work, your studies and your family. As much as I was attracted to your intelligence, I could not help but to admire your persistence and responsibility. You take charge, when the call comes for, and you make it happen.
A man definitely needs his partner to fight at his side.
The days of romantic women waiting for their lovers at the window; or even the days when every great man needed a woman to only give moral support are long gone my friend.

In a world that is so demanding I dreamed about you. In my dream I felt protected and safe by your mere presence and an overwhelming glow of serenity engulfed us.

I do not know who I am and I still do not know what I want.
One thing I am sure of though: I wish I had you.

On Hot Tin!

2007-09-20T01:11:00.000-07:00

A questions that is asked over and over: "What happened to the Egpyptians?"

I will not go over a degrading Education and a collapsing Health System. I will skip pauverty and very poor living standards. All of these has been gone over so many times in so many places.

But may be due to these factors -and others not stated here- something is building up in our society: Agressive Intereference in Other People's lifes.

A very strange incident in the papers dragged my attention to this matter.

"An army soldier was performing his service on a watch tower. From his place on that tower, he saw a man and a woman making love. They were in a shop nearby. The soldier pulled his fire arm and shot both of them, killing the woman and injuring the man." This is how the story was published in Ahram.

When I read that, I could not believe myself. The soldier made himself a judge, jury and excutioner of innocent people. He shot them without even asking. May be they were man and wife and if they did not how could they be condemend to death in such a fashion. even more problematic, by whom: An army soldier with a duty to protect them in the first place!

This is an outstanding example of something we suffer from every day. Everyone is watching, judging in everyone else's life.

"How come you are unveiled?"

"Men with big beards just give me the creeps"

"I heard he drinks"

And so many more examples.

Frustration is building up and it feels like the whole society is boiling to an explosion.

This is very true and it is apparent in our every day to day ordinary situations.

Snatch a Ladie's purse in dowtown Cairo, chances are may be one or two would chase you. However, kiss a girl at the same place, you'll probably get nicked and beaten by at least half a dozen!!

This interference started out perhaps 30 years ago in the 1970's as a trend of social judging. When Egypt was opening and embracing Gulf State ideas and ways of living. At the mean time, these rich petroleum states were attempting to force their culture over the world just by virtue of having more and more money to spend.

Egyptians came back from the Gulf Countries with a new Bedouin identity. We hate the West, underestimate the power of science and reserach and lough at the word "Civil Society."
The entire world is now watching us with sorrow.
The Gulf states blossoming with Petrol and Trade money ran full speed on the path of Business and Modenization.
Egypt is left trapped with Libya, Sudan, the So-called Palestine and burnning Lebanon. What an ill fate...

Drifted/Let it Snow

2007-05-29T02:14:00.000-07:00

(1) Sherif, in his bed, 10PM.

It all started with a mediocre fantasy.
I got home, showered and slipped right into bed with Samaa. It had been almost a week since we were together. Admittedly after 4 years of marriage, our encounters are a little less but passion still remains.
In the heat of the moment, she suddenly came into my mind. A vivid image of Sara just materialised out of no where. She was wearing her black one shouldered blouse, and her brown eyes radiated. How come I never noticed before her incredible dark lean figure?
I shook my head to get her out of my mind. It did not work.

(2) Sara, Heliopolis Club, 3PM.

They say that life is full of choices. This is not true; at least for me. I did not choose my parents. I got bad grades in high school, so I did not choose my university and I met Tarek through the family. When I get pregnant I will not be able to choose whether it is a boy, a girl… You just do not choose anything that matters in your life.
Tarek, my husband, and Sherif are best friends. Although they share a lot of traits among them, they were also very different. While Tarek is always loud, always late and just loves to go out all the time and mingle; Sherif was more discreet, calm and reserved. In my opinion: more refined.
On any given day, I would have chosen Sherif.

3) Marwan, Grand Café, 8:30PM.

I saw them. I swear to God I saw them…
When we arrived at Grand Café, I said hi to Sara
- Where is Tarek? I asked
- He’s running a little bit late at work. He’ll be coming soon.
Right next to her sat Sherif and I saw it: For more than a couple of minutes their legs were leaning against each other. Only from where I was sitting this could be seen. At first, I could not grasp what’s happening and then I started to notice more. All so casually they touched a few times that evening. She would laugh and hold his elbow. He would be teased and punch tenderly her shoulder. No one seemed to notice, is it just me..?
Tarek and Sherif had it all: Money, wits and their own businesses. They do not wake up to their mobile phone alarm. They eat breakfast and have their own parking space. I run in panic every day at 7am and pray to find a squeeze for my old Calista 2 Km from work. As if all of this was not enough now they are hitting on each others wives; a typical businessmen drama if you ask me.

4) Sherif, his office, 1 PM:

I read in an article once that there are 3 major forces that control one’s actions: emotions (Love, hate, anger…), time and boredom. If you control your emotions and stand absolutely powerless to the passage of time one factor will remain: Boredom.
I opened my mail, 20 messages, all work.
For the last couple of months, once or twice a week I would receive an SMS or a call from her. What is happening? Or where are we from the thin red line? Sincerely, I did not know. I am completely intoxicated by her.
Just last week, we met at a wedding. While I was kissing her hi, I just twisted my neck slightly that I half kissed her lips. Perhaps one of the most stupid things I have done in my entire life. She smiled and walked away. She did not talk to me the entire evening and then, while I was standing on the edge of the dance floor, she came from behind me “Don’t stair at the girls, I’m watching you.”

5) Sara, her parents’ house, 11AM

Scented salt bath and then 15 minutes of Jacuzzi makes you totally rejuvenated. I rubbed my entire body with Victoria’s Secret lotion.
To do anything, all you need is the right timing and the right set of circumstances as I once heard in a movie. So, what should I wear?
- Hi Sherif, I’m at my parents’ house and there is a very strong smell of gas. I don’t know what to do.
- Close the valve and open the windows. Also, don’t touch the lights, I’ll be right there.
I wore a white tank top, white shorts and flip-flops. I looked at the mirror “girl you look fine!” A flash of fear squeezed my heart.

6) Marwan, in his car (Calista), Noon

My father was right about one thing “A career in accounting kills your soul” Today, I just had enough. “My sister is really ill and I have to go to attend to her” I told my alien-faced boss.
I was just getting to Le Café, “What is Sherif’s car doing here at mid-day?” I thought for a few seconds. This is Sara parents’ house, it hit me. Her pre-wedding party was there, I remember well. I’ll be damned. This is huge… Well, I’ll be damned if I care!!!
Out of no where, a strange Christmas carol came to me “Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow…”

The Fish that Rotted from its Tail

2007-04-17T01:55:00.000-07:00

The Story:
The Egyptian Book Authority decides to re-issue a cultural magazine (Ibda3). The editor in chief of this publication is the renowned Egyptian Poet Ahmed Abdel Motie Hegazy. While the magazine is in print a worker realised -somehow- that the issue contains a poem that undermines God!! So, the print workers -acting out of pure faith- decide to stop printing the magazine. Furthermore they decide to take an extra step and attempted to BURN the, in stock, printed issues!!
The story does not end here. When this matter came to the papers, everyone wondered how could this be done by Print Workers who, obviously, are not qualified to assess literary works. The president of the authority decided to back-up the workers and stopped the publication. Here the News Story ends and begins the never ending story.

More and more prejudices and judgements are seeping into our quotidian lives. Everyone pretending to protect tradition or, more importantly, religion is judging -and sometime acting against- what is contrary to his own personal believes. What made it even worse and on the Verge of catastrophe is the people behind the judgments. Who are the people currently shaping our lives and believes?

- Simple workers with minimal or no education are all over tourism. They are judging and influencing everything from Tourists dress codes to beach drinking habits.
- Small employees and or clerks in National TV (yes it still exists!) are ultimately the ones deciding on the content of the Series/Programs produced. Also, they interfere to censorship old Egyptian movies produced back in the 1950's and 1960's.
- Cairo urban planning and traffic control plans are devised by junior police officers and municipality administrators.
The list goes on and on from education content, government schools, health, agriculture,... and ends up by the Print Workers who are now acting as my intellectual guardians.

Since the military rule began in Egypt (it is still ongoing by the way) and subsequent governments went through a very persistent effort to minimise the cultured/intellectual/ specialists roles in our society.
The regime always preferred "the people of trust over the people of knowledge."
After more than 40 years, this where we are: A country where the government only protects itself, a silent knowing minority with absolutely no input to the masses and a majority boiling with rage waiting to snap at anything.
Even if this thing is just a poem.

My Representative is from the Brotherhood

2007-03-11T04:58:00.000-07:00

Mr. Representative,
To start with I would like to congratulate you on 5 years in the House. Also, I would like to tell you that I did not vote for you. I hope you don’t get upset as I am using the same freedom right that got you there in the first place. Albeit now you are there as the peoples representative, we would like to know your program and your opinion regarding some crucial issues for the well being of the very people whom you represent.

Economic Issues: What is the Brotherhood program regarding the following issues:
1) Unified tax/Corporate tax, will these be changed or left intact?
2) Double Taxation agreements with other Arab and African countries.
3) Custom duties and the program intended to keep customs in conformity with GAT and at the mean time minimize impact on local industries
4) Fiscal policy and the Brotherhood vision of interest rates on the Egyptian Pound (well if the Brotherhood is against Bank interest do you intend to ban it altogether?)
5) Do you intend to encourage tourism (one of the major resources of Egypt) and do you have a solid plan to increase DFI (Direct Foreign Investment)?

Political Issues:
1) Will the Brotherhood preserve this same democracy that got some of its people to power?
2) Does the Brotherhood believe in basic Human Rights like freedom of thought, expression, speech and belief? (ed. Please think before answering as throughout its entire history the M. Brotherhood had a firm stand against Human Rights)
3) Would you allow non-Muslims to become governors, ministers or even school principles or will you follow the principle stating that non Muslims cannot rule over Muslims.
Health and Education:
What is the Brotherhood stand regarding the following issues:
1) Liberal education and scientific research.
2) The mixing between boys and girls in schools and universities.
3) Organs donation and transplant.
4) Men gynecologists.

Women’s Rights:
The Brotherhood stand regarding women’s rights has been always ambiguous. We need the following clarified:
1) Would women be allowed to vote, equal opportunity employment and the right to drive their cars?
2) Would you allow women governors, ministers and judges?

Arts:
Egypt has been well known for its cultural contribution to the entire Arabic World, would the Brotherhood allow:
1) Creative Novelists whom their writings might prove enlightening?
2) The Cinema Industry, theatres and musical concerts?
3) Painting and sculptures of human or animal figures?

Sports:
1) Would men be allowed to wear shorts or only short pants while playing any sport?
2) Would women be allowed to play Gymnastics and/or swimming?

This is the 21st century; enough playing on religious tunes to lead us back to the swamps of ancient dark ages.
We are not afraid.

Officer Down

2007-03-11T04:57:00.000-07:00

Two days ago, a woman 27 years of age getting back home somehow late at night was abducted. The offenders were the public transport driver (the Microbus driver) (17 years old) and one of his friends (21 years old.) The woman screamed for help, a police car responded and gave pursuit. After some American style chase, the police car succeeded in stopping the Microbus. While the police officer was trying to arrest the suspects, one of them managed to take the officers’ gun, shot him as well as a police soldier. The officer died and the soldier escaped with only a wound.
As unusual as this story is (at least for Egypt), its details raised so many questions in my head to what have Law and Order in our country have become. Consider the following:
1) The public transport driver is only 17 years old. Although to obtain a driving license in Egypt one has to be at least 18. How could someone take driving as a profession without a driving license?
2) In his account of the story the police soldier said “I’m not a police man. I’m just drafted for service for 1 year. When the officer told me to chase the criminals, I was really afraid. Also, when the officer told me to arrest the suspects, I did not have any hand cuffs. I tried to use my wool scarf. The offenders escaped me, attacked the officer, got his gun and shot us both.”
3) The officer is 25 years of age while the offender is only 17 and without any prior criminal record. How a young driver could take a trained officer gun and shoot him? Do we have any procedures to arrest offenders?
One conclusion could be made: Our respect for the Law and our Law Enforcement forces are just as poor as anything in this country. We are more or less brought up in an environment where the law is merely a word read in books and papers; without any existence in the real world. As for the police forces, they only bully the helpless. They do not have equipment, staff or training. The elite forces are solely dedicated to protection of the existing regime. But we, the people, we are only protected by untrained soldiers and officers equipped with woollen scarves.

In Cairo Traffic

2007-03-07T04:55:00.000-08:00

Being stuck in the Big City traffic is not a pleasant experience by all means. However, if your experience with Cairo and Egyptian traffic stays limited to being stuck then you should consider yourself very lucky.
Consider the following:
- More than 7000 people die every year on Egyptian Roads. This is more than the number of American soldiers who died from the start of the Iraqi war 3 years ago.
- During the last month (February, 2007) it is estimated that more than 50 people were stabbed by Taxi and Micro bus drivers for numerous reasons. More than 10 died.
- Last week, a young guy of 16 (who does not hold a driving license) lost control over his car and crashed killing 5 people waiting on a bus stop.
- Yesterday, a truck carrying 1000 liquid gas cylinders flipped and burst in flame killing the driver and injuring a passenger and a pedestrian. Also, more than 20 cattle died in the incident.

So each time you leave your home, work or whatever and you decide to take the inculcated risk of driving in Cairo, just remember: Being stuck in traffic is probably the best thing that could happen to you...

Daddy Forgets

2007-03-05T06:27:00.000-08:00

It was just an ordinary day. I came back from work and you came running to me and hugged me. All what I did in response was a shrug.
Later on this afternoon, you got me my slippers and paper. Instead of thanking you I frowned, thinking and thinking about my work.
All throughout the evening I was complaining and yelling about the noise you are making, your toys scattered everywhere and that you are not paying enough attention to “your dad’s instructions.”
When I –“finally”- put you to bed you told me Good Night and smiled. I replied with a quick kiss on your cheek.

But I have to admit, Daddy forgets.
He forgets that you are only three and a half years old. He forgets that you are not yet burdened by work, taxes and life.
Daddy forgets that when you run to him and hug his knees there are no hidden intentions behind it.
You are not careless, disobedient or impolite. You are just a child.
Daddy forgot how it is to be a child.

Today is just an ordinary day. I took you to your nursery in the morning. As usual while you were going up the stairs you looked back, smiled and waved.
I waved back briefly and turned my back.
You did not see the one tear that escaped my eye.

8 Years Later

2007-03-05T05:50:00.000-08:00

It is amazing how people change over time.
It was by pure coincidence that we got to be seated together at the same table that day.
When I shook her hand, it felt nothing like the hand I used to hold for so long.
- Hi, how are you?
She said it without looking at me or wanting to know my answer.
It had been almost a decade since we were together yet amazingly enough she looked just like she did on her freshman year, a complete stranger.
“Just looking at you makes me overwhelmed with happiness” This is what I always used to tell her. Our long talks, our long walks back and forth from down town to our campus, it all seems so oddly distant now.
I wonder what her husband does for a living.

- Sherif, stop teasing your sister; she suddenly came out loudly.
Unintentionally, everyone turned to her. She smiled timidly. Her smile was more or less the same but there was definitely something different in her voice.
One day, driven by teen foolishness as much as love we got into this building after classes has ended. We stood there kissing on the stairs. All of a sudden a security guard appeared from nowhere. We were completely taken by surprise and so was he. He looked rudely at us “what are you doing here? There are no classes now in this building, go!”
We just ran away smiling. We were saved (from probation or may be worse.)

- After the birthday, I’m meeting my friends for a girly outing.
That was my wife. I just mumbled back in affirmation. We were in a birthday of a one year old girl. The daughter of a couple I hardly knew.
Why do they make birthdays for such young babies? Obviously, the birthday girl doesn’t know it and more certainly most of us sitting here don’t care.
We were together for 5 Valentines (Well, actually 4 because during one Valentine we quarreled and did not go out.) However, I think people really in love do not need Valentine. We did not need any occasion to bring each other gifts. We did not need Valentine to go out, dine and dance. We went on Flouka rides and we had an agreement to say “I love you” at least once every week.
We did not even need to talk, that day in the farm, when I put my head on that magic spot just underneath her shoulder and stayed like that for hours.
We also knew that we will not end up together. Lovers from different religions in this part of the world normally don’t.
This did not make much of a difference. We had this implicit agreement that we shall remain together and savor our love as long as we could. “Our love and commitment are much more than a piece of paper”, she used to say.

- Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday, happy birthday…
I wonder where Karim is. He must be playing here or there. I looked around carefully till I spotted him beneath a table not far away from where I am.
As time passed, pressure from friends and family grew to put an end to our relationship. “So, what’s next?” everyone used to say. “You have to breakup and give each other a chance to move on.” On October 16th, we did.

- Sherif, we have to leave. The kids are driving me crazy.
She picked up everything in less than a minute. One kid in each hand waved goodbye and walked away.
My eyes followed her to the door. Then she turned and looked straight at me. I knew she was thinking to herself “It is amazing how people change over time.”